Fairen Diary: Of Blockade Phobia & Its Syndromes

Clarification In today’s paper edition of the Sangai Express, the headline has been retained in the column but it has the content of one of my previous articles. Inconvenience is regretted. -Manipur Masala, 23 Feb 2014
A troop of fairen thagi angaoba leichil had a disheartened retreat under the command of its leader Mr. Fairenjao. As reported by Ta Basanta, who is soon to arrive in a few weeks’ time, “Mr. Fairenjao, he wore such a dismayed look as we crisscrossed our ways. I had waved him ‘hi’ but he did not even bother to wish back.”

On introspection, it has been narrated that the sight of long queues at the petrol pumps, a few days ago, had discouraged Mr. Fairenjao and his troop of angaoba leichil high, very high up in the sky.

With the news of an impending blockade, khoiren-masha paiba was the immediate reaction among our people. The petrol pumps suddenly ran out of stock and inflation found its glorified meaning.  For a few days, every Manipuri queued up at the petrol pumps from early morning till late evening.

Afew social scientists conducted a thorough research on social behaviour recently. They have finally come up with the discovery of a new disease called a Blockade Phobia. The syndromes of this disease include:
- Inability to eat or sleep properly until and unless the petrol tank of one’s vehicles is filled up. The related syndrome includes waking up early in the morning and the urge to go and queue up at the nearest petrol pump from one’s leikai. Under certain cases, the patient may have a tendency to visit the same petrol pump in the evening to fill up gallons of petrol to stock up.
- Another serious syndrome often observed among patients of blockade phobia is the kick of petrolpeneurship. Petrolpeneurship is a newly coined termed, by the social leipoong scientist. It is defined as the sudden desire of becoming an entrepreneur by investing on gallons of petrol and selling the same at an inflated price.

Criticized as an unethical means of entrepreneurship, Mr. Achumba, the president of All Manipur Maram Mokpa Association spoke, “We should not waste even a single minute to cure all the patients of such disease. These patients, if not treated in time, can become a threat to many innovative businesses that are gradually evolving across the state. We need support from the sensible citizens of this khunai for a permanent treatment of such a disease”.

“The patients of blockade phobia and their oddities can have a disastrous impact on the impressionable young minds”, said Mr. Angaangjao.

He continued, “We should appeal to the concerned authority to come up with preventive measures to check this sandokanba leina as soon as possible”.

Meanwhile, Mr. Heipaasingba, the president of Heipaa Saajage Haiduna Houdokchaba Organization remarks, “There is an easy remedy to cure such a phobia. We should start adding ‘Blockade’ to the nomenclature—at least one member of our family can have the name. This way, we will get familiarized with Blockade in a more intimate way. This will ultimately help in erasing the general phobia of blockade”.

Citing an example he added further, “The expression ‘blockade laaktoure’ could have a double meaning; for example, Blockade laaktoure could mean a child called Blockade is returning from school as much as it could mean the possibility of an economic blockade to be imposed on any of the National Highways.”

Mr. Fairenjao has sternly condemned the disheartened retreat of his leichil troop. From rumours, he has reportedly told his band, “I need an answer from the Ministry of Seasonal Affairs for such an illogical act or else we will also call for a blockade in the sky of Manipur”. As per our Lei-Ngao Thi-Ngao reporter, AFSPA is likely to be imposed in the sky of Maninpur in order to put the situation under control. Jet fighters may soon arrive from mainland India.

Postscript: Dear Leibaakchasing, let’s try to sneeze out the insanity and insensibility for a change ‘haakthi’! Daylight robbery has become a sort of entrepreneurial skill. What else could be the reason for the scarcity of petrol just from the announcement of a highway blockade—mind it, not from the blockade but just from its announcement — regardless of its senselessness? When are the agitators in the hills ever going to understand that their blockades have never affected the government, but rather this kind of protest has been only torturing the general people?
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