If I Become the First Ever Lady Cheap Ministress of Manipur!

Politics is not my usual cup of tea. I hate everything about politics. However, if I ever have to avail myself to become the first ever lady cheap ministress of Manipur, I have a long list of political/social wishes, which if come true, would make me one of the most (un)happiest persons on earth. I know not how the leingaak-pathap holders draw the margin of state politics in Manipur. Well, never mind, let me come to the point and acknowledge you all on the strategies I have framed to work out and are planning to implement once I become the first ever Cheap Ministress of Manipur.

Good citizens disobey bad laws. Therefore, during my tenure I will encourage all the citizens of Manipur to disobey those bad laws that were forcibly passed in my state. My first concern would focus on AFSPA. This inhumane draconian law has to become dinosaurs, an extinct piece of species, during my tenure as a cheap ministress. If required, I will adopt all the cheapest strategies to pester central government to remove this law as soon as possible.

My second emphasis would be on the development of infrastructure. In order to implement this plan, I will have a look at the long list of corrupted officials in each and every department and suspend them on grounds of ‘sen-haalengdana chaaba and ekai khangdaba’. Trust me; from the top-ranked officials to the peons, they have crossed the shameless limit of asking bribe from anyone. They are impediments in any type of developmental process in our society. They will however be given a chance of improvement during their temporary suspension and if there is no sign of improvement, they will be terminated from their service. Redemption centres will be especially opened for them where they can spend the rest of their lives trying to lead like normal beings and also a bribe-free life.

My next focus would be on education sector. I will make sure all the surrogate-teachers are rewarded with their deserving posts thereby terminating the service of those who officially hold the posts but never attend the schools and colleges. On grounds of humanity, the teachers who have been terminated from their posts would however be financially assisted by the same amount they earlier used to pay to surrogate teachers.

As the first ever cheap ministress of Manipur, I will voice the grievance of our people to central government in proper Hindi or English or Meiteilon language (by seeking the help of a guide). I earnestly feel that improper communication is quite a problem faced by most of the earlier cheap ministers in our state. They had tried their best to speak up on behalf of our people. But due to their own shortcomings in communication, they had continuously failed to do so. Or maybe, their ceaseless request and begging for funds have made them too dumb to speak to New Delhi.

In terms of projects allocated from the Centre, I will make sure that every single project is delivered to the right department in a free and fair manner and sans any 10% mindset. Earlier, the projects from the Centre reached the concerned departments but were completed on haabi-jaabi grounds. I will hire a special team of intelligence who will probe into all the official matters of each and every department.

I have many more plans on my mind but I do not want to publish them all. The earlier ministers had talked so much on the growth and development and done nothing. I believe in the credo ‘action speaks louder than words’. So I better stop hammering my keyboard and rather focus on my strategies.

All the above jokes apart, let us admit that an aggravating famine has been affecting everyone’s life in Manipur for all these years. This famine is the most unnatural famine we have ever come across. It is ghastly, it is deadly and it can gradually ruin everything/everyone. Intellectuals and mindless politicians are treated at par during this ongoing famine. Though the major victims are mostly laymen like me, like you or like everyone who is lurking or looking forward to see a better Manipur (maybe on a 32nd December, eh!). Our great political leaders have given their (un)valuable opinions and (im) possible means and measures to fight this famine. And hopelessly by the end of this century or maybe next century (if there is time restraint this century), this famine shall be controlled and everything will (not) be back to normalcy. But there is my (dis)honest question: ‘Can theoretical means fight practical problems?’

This famine could be anything — a famine broken out of lack of understanding, barbarism, misused law or power or unethical socio-political norms etc. etc. etc. Consider any factor, give any name, but trust me this famine has but affected everyone’s life quite severely. We cannot be mute spectators continuously affecting ourselves with this famine. We must have a solution, we must have a means, and we must have good comrades who can help us fight this famine. The pursuit has to begin soon. Count me in for the search and let me count you all too.

PS: I don’t want to become the first ever lady cheap or chief ministress of Manipur. I just want to be a free citizen who resides in Kangleipaak without any fear of insurgency and other social, financial or political chaos.

This article was published on 5 Aug 2012

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