Laangban Diary — Of Blockade & Its Side-effects

A troop of laangbangi angaoba leichil had a disheartened retreat under the command of its leader Mr. Laangbanjao. As reported by Mr. Naatrang, “Mr. Laangbanjao, he wore such a dismayed look as we crisscrossed our ways. I had waved him ‘hi’ but he did not even bother to wish back.”

On introspection, it has been narrated that the sight of long queues at the petrol pumps, had discouraged Mr. Langbanjao and his troop of angaoba leichil high, very high up in the sky.

Prices of daily commodities also keep on rising like esing echao for the last few days. We are obediently bearing the burnt of economic blockade which is currently imposed on the Imphal-Dimapur highway, which is also the lifeline of Manipur. Blockade has always scared us like hell and khoiren-masha paiba has been a classic reaction among our people.

Economic blockade imposed on any of the highways always had and has its side-effects. Petrol pumps suddenly run out of stock and inflation finds its glorified meaning. Beat the laangbangi omchaaknaraba nungsha, every Manipuri queues up at the petrol pumps from early morning till late evening.

A few social scientists recently conducted a thorough research on social behaviour of Manipuris. They have finally come up with the discovery of a new disease called Blockade Phobia. The syndromes of this disease include:
- Inability to eat or sleep properly until and unless the petrol tank of one’s vehicles is filled up. The related syndrome includes waking up early in the morning and the urge to go and queue up at the nearest petrol pump from one’s leikai. Under certain cases, the patient may have a tendency to visit the same petrol pump in the evening to fill up gallons of petrol to stock up.

- Another serious syndrome often observed among patients of blockade phobia is the kick of petrolpeneurship. Petrolpeneurship is a newly coined termed, by the social leipoong scientist. It is defined as the sudden desire of becoming an entrepreneur by investing on gallons of petrol and selling the same at an inflated price.

Criticized as an unethical means of entrepreneurship, Mr. Achumba, the president of All Manipur Maram Mokpa Association spoke, “We should not waste even a single minute to cure all the patients of such a disease. These patients, if not treated in time, can become a threat to many innovative businesses that are gradually evolving across the state. We need support from the sensible citizens of this khunai for a permanent treatment of such a disease”.

“The patients of blockade phobia and their oddities can have a disastrous impact on the impressionable young minds”, said Mr. Angaangjao.

He continued, “We should appeal to the concerned authority to come up with preventive measures to check this sandokanba leina as soon as possible”.

Meanwhile, Mr. Heipaasingba, the president of Heipaa Saajage Haiduna Houdokchaba Organization remarks, “There is an easy remedy to cure such a phobia. We should start adding ‘Blockade’ to the nomenclature—at least one member of our family can have the name. This way, we will get familiarized with Blockade in a more intimate way. This will ultimately help in erasing the general phobia of blockade”.

Citing an example he added further, “The expression ‘blockade laaktoure’ could have a double meaning; for example, Blockade laaktoure could mean a child called Blockade is returning from school as much as it could mean the possibility of an economic blockade to be imposed on any of the National Highways.”

Mr. Laangbanjao has sternly condemned the disheartened retreat of his leichil troop. From rumours, he has reportedly told his band, “I need an answer from the Ministry of Seasonal Affairs for such an illogical act or else we will also call for a blockade in the sky of Manipur”. As per our Lei-Ngao Thi-Ngao reporter, AFSPA is likely to be imposed in the sky of Manipur in order to put the situation under control. Jet fighters may soon arrive from mainland India.

Postscript Dear Leibaakchasing, let’s try to sneeze out the insanity and insensibility for a change ‘haakthi’! Daylight robbery has become a sort of entrepreneurial skill. What else could be the reason for the scarcity of petrol just from the announcement of a highway blockade—mind it, not from the blockade but just from its announcement — regardless of its senselessness? And here’s my siki worth question of the day-When are the agitators in the hills ever going to understand that their blockades have never affected the government, but rather this kind of protest has been only torturing the general people?

This article was published on 7 Sep 2014
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