Petrolpreneurship in Manipur: A Lousy Business Option

Petrolpreneurship is currently chosen as a profitable business option by many individuals since it is the easiest one to start sans any management skill or experience. As a result of the rising tribe of petrolpreneurs in Manipur, the price of petrol is inflated every now and then, while the purse of common people is deflated. A ridiculous business option, Manipur Masala shares some serious concerns about petrolpreneurship: the business of ‘Kok chaaklaba and karaam chaoba lots of gari thao’.

Manipur is a haven for black marketers and that is our open secret. The nature of ‘black marketing’ keeps changing from time to time. Out of the many options, cooking gas and petrol are two easy targets for the black marketers to churn maximum revenue out of a minimum investment. Nobody can ignore the gas or petrol because we live in a modern society. So, one has acquaintances at the petrol pumps, why not share the profit with them and start a thao yonbagi dukan? So is the case of cooking gas. Sounds funny but this is exactly how things are going on in our state.

My area of interest is not in conducting a thorough research in black marketing in Manipur. Statistics lies, formal studies are a source of ridicule in Manipur, though it is no wonder considering again, the great Manipuri mentality. However, it concerns my sanity when some basic needs of the common people such as cooking gas and petrol are relegated to black marketing every now and then with the authorities turning a ‘mitaang’ eye; though I might be biased as the Indian Oil Corporation is also a major stakeholder in this great Indian state.

Greed and lunacy have inspired the black marketers to such an extent that they leave no stone unturned to rob us every now and then. The present petrol shortage is a clear-cut example of how we are robbed in broad daylight. When have we ever got relief from fuel crisis in Manipur? Why petrolpreneurship is not yet questioned? Why black marketers are openly fed right from our pockets? Who are these black marketers? And why isn’t our media reporting anything about who are the gory thugs controlling such markets here in Manipur? Also, why is our government so comfortably numb and dumb during many a situation like this? These are some questions we should start discussing about. Artificial drought, artificial shortage of fuel, artificial crimes- how many more artificial problems do we need to enlist? Oh, these are just trivial questions. Ta:Naobi says he is happy, he gets the best dishes for wife, he gets the best ‘asaaba’, he earns the maximum profit, whenever there is a blockade.

I empathize with many Khura-Taada and Eney-Indol selling petrol openly at their thongaal (though the most common venue of selling petrol is near, or to be precise, at the entrance of the petrol pump). Isn’t it ironic? Petrol pumps run out of petrol and then all of a sudden, there are so many temporary petrol yonfam dukan swarming up near the petrol pumps. Most of them seem to have collaborated with the petrolpreneurs but they do not seem to be the real culprits. They try to earn a humble livelihood by selling those bottles of petrol with a little profit. I don’t intend to trigger a crusade that would snatch away their means of livelihood. But at the same time, they should also keep in mind that they are caught in a wrong business and that they should think of an alternative means of livelihood before they turn themselves into ‘petrolpreneurs’. Or shortly, the mahajon they had got the petrol from, in the first place.

They say we should always have faith in ‘God’ in good and especially in bad times. Well, here’s my self composed prayer for thee oh ‘God’. ‘Our Father in Soraren holy be thy name, shrewd be thy justice. Sanctify thy children who are ‘kok chaaklaba and karaam jao’ or clear their ‘burdened presence’ from this blue planet of ours. I shall thence offer expensive incense sticks, exotic flowers and scented candles if ye listen to this humble prayer of mine. Amen!’

PS: In a land like Manipur, people never run short of prospective business avenues. So, it seems the day won’t be far when some lunatic business enthusiasts would also come up with airpreneurship; a sort of stocking up fresh air in a tank and selling it at an inflated rate to customers. As a part of ‘thou leitana thou thiba’ project, I have even thought about a few brand names for them with their taglines. ‘Nungsit Chaoba Air Suppliers—As pure as it can be’, ‘Nungsit Tombi Air Suppliers—Pure, Fresh and Affordable Air Just a Call Away’. I would love to visualize and even direct a few television commercials for this particular business. It would be an out-of-the-world experience for everybody. Hello investors, have you made up your mind to churn out the maximum revenue from such a lucrative business opportunity? Think about it.

This article was published on 3 May 2015
 

Laangban Diary — Of Blockade & Its Side-effects

A troop of laangbangi angaoba leichil had a disheartened retreat under the command of its leader Mr. Laangbanjao. As reported by Mr. Naatrang, “Mr. Laangbanjao, he wore such a dismayed look as we crisscrossed our ways. I had waved him ‘hi’ but he did not even bother to wish back.”

On introspection, it has been narrated that the sight of long queues at the petrol pumps, had discouraged Mr. Langbanjao and his troop of angaoba leichil high, very high up in the sky.

Prices of daily commodities also keep on rising like esing echao for the last few days. We are obediently bearing the burnt of economic blockade which is currently imposed on the Imphal-Dimapur highway, which is also the lifeline of Manipur. Blockade has always scared us like hell and khoiren-masha paiba has been a classic reaction among our people.

Economic blockade imposed on any of the highways always had and has its side-effects. Petrol pumps suddenly run out of stock and inflation finds its glorified meaning. Beat the laangbangi omchaaknaraba nungsha, every Manipuri queues up at the petrol pumps from early morning till late evening.

A few social scientists recently conducted a thorough research on social behaviour of Manipuris. They have finally come up with the discovery of a new disease called Blockade Phobia. The syndromes of this disease include:
- Inability to eat or sleep properly until and unless the petrol tank of one’s vehicles is filled up. The related syndrome includes waking up early in the morning and the urge to go and queue up at the nearest petrol pump from one’s leikai. Under certain cases, the patient may have a tendency to visit the same petrol pump in the evening to fill up gallons of petrol to stock up.

- Another serious syndrome often observed among patients of blockade phobia is the kick of petrolpeneurship. Petrolpeneurship is a newly coined termed, by the social leipoong scientist. It is defined as the sudden desire of becoming an entrepreneur by investing on gallons of petrol and selling the same at an inflated price.

Criticized as an unethical means of entrepreneurship, Mr. Achumba, the president of All Manipur Maram Mokpa Association spoke, “We should not waste even a single minute to cure all the patients of such a disease. These patients, if not treated in time, can become a threat to many innovative businesses that are gradually evolving across the state. We need support from the sensible citizens of this khunai for a permanent treatment of such a disease”.

“The patients of blockade phobia and their oddities can have a disastrous impact on the impressionable young minds”, said Mr. Angaangjao.

He continued, “We should appeal to the concerned authority to come up with preventive measures to check this sandokanba leina as soon as possible”.

Meanwhile, Mr. Heipaasingba, the president of Heipaa Saajage Haiduna Houdokchaba Organization remarks, “There is an easy remedy to cure such a phobia. We should start adding ‘Blockade’ to the nomenclature—at least one member of our family can have the name. This way, we will get familiarized with Blockade in a more intimate way. This will ultimately help in erasing the general phobia of blockade”.

Citing an example he added further, “The expression ‘blockade laaktoure’ could have a double meaning; for example, Blockade laaktoure could mean a child called Blockade is returning from school as much as it could mean the possibility of an economic blockade to be imposed on any of the National Highways.”

Mr. Laangbanjao has sternly condemned the disheartened retreat of his leichil troop. From rumours, he has reportedly told his band, “I need an answer from the Ministry of Seasonal Affairs for such an illogical act or else we will also call for a blockade in the sky of Manipur”. As per our Lei-Ngao Thi-Ngao reporter, AFSPA is likely to be imposed in the sky of Manipur in order to put the situation under control. Jet fighters may soon arrive from mainland India.

Postscript Dear Leibaakchasing, let’s try to sneeze out the insanity and insensibility for a change ‘haakthi’! Daylight robbery has become a sort of entrepreneurial skill. What else could be the reason for the scarcity of petrol just from the announcement of a highway blockade—mind it, not from the blockade but just from its announcement — regardless of its senselessness? And here’s my siki worth question of the day-When are the agitators in the hills ever going to understand that their blockades have never affected the government, but rather this kind of protest has been only torturing the general people?

This article was published on 7 Sep 2014

Fairen Diary: Of Blockade Phobia & Its Syndromes

Clarification In today’s paper edition of the Sangai Express, the headline has been retained in the column but it has the content of one of my previous articles. Inconvenience is regretted. -Manipur Masala, 23 Feb 2014
 
A troop of fairen thagi angaoba leichil had a disheartened retreat under the command of its leader Mr. Fairenjao. As reported by Ta Basanta, who is soon to arrive in a few weeks’ time, “Mr. Fairenjao, he wore such a dismayed look as we crisscrossed our ways. I had waved him ‘hi’ but he did not even bother to wish back.”

On introspection, it has been narrated that the sight of long queues at the petrol pumps, a few days ago, had discouraged Mr. Fairenjao and his troop of angaoba leichil high, very high up in the sky.

With the news of an impending blockade, khoiren-masha paiba was the immediate reaction among our people. The petrol pumps suddenly ran out of stock and inflation found its glorified meaning.  For a few days, every Manipuri queued up at the petrol pumps from early morning till late evening.

Afew social scientists conducted a thorough research on social behaviour recently. They have finally come up with the discovery of a new disease called a Blockade Phobia. The syndromes of this disease include:

- Inability to eat or sleep properly until and unless the petrol tank of one’s vehicles is filled up. The related syndrome includes waking up early in the morning and the urge to go and queue up at the nearest petrol pump from one’s leikai. Under certain cases, the patient may have a tendency to visit the same petrol pump in the evening to fill up gallons of petrol to stock up.
- Another serious syndrome often observed among patients of blockade phobia is the kick of petrolpeneurship. Petrolpeneurship is a newly coined termed, by the social leipoong scientist. It is defined as the sudden desire of becoming an entrepreneur by investing on gallons of petrol and selling the same at an inflated price.

Criticized as an unethical means of entrepreneurship, Mr. Achumba, the president of All Manipur Maram Mokpa Association spoke, “We should not waste even a single minute to cure all the patients of such disease. These patients, if not treated in time, can become a threat to many innovative businesses that are gradually evolving across the state. We need support from the sensible citizens of this khunai for a permanent treatment of such a disease”.

“The patients of blockade phobia and their oddities can have a disastrous impact on the impressionable young minds”, said Mr. Angaangjao.

He continued, “We should appeal to the concerned authority to come up with preventive measures to check this sandokanba leina as soon as possible”.

Meanwhile, Mr. Heipaasingba, the president of Heipaa Saajage Haiduna Houdokchaba Organization remarks, “There is an easy remedy to cure such a phobia. We should start adding ‘Blockade’ to the nomenclature—at least one member of our family can have the name. This way, we will get familiarized with Blockade in a more intimate way. This will ultimately help in erasing the general phobia of blockade”.

Citing an example he added further, “The expression ‘blockade laaktoure’ could have a double meaning; for example, Blockade laaktoure could mean a child called Blockade is returning from school as much as it could mean the possibility of an economic blockade to be imposed on any of the National Highways.”

Mr. Fairenjao has sternly condemned the disheartened retreat of his leichil troop. From rumours, he has reportedly told his band, “I need an answer from the Ministry of Seasonal Affairs for such an illogical act or else we will also call for a blockade in the sky of Manipur”. As per our Lei-Ngao Thi-Ngao reporter, AFSPA is likely to be imposed in the sky of Maninpur in order to put the situation under control. Jet fighters may soon arrive from mainland India.

Postscript: Dear Leibaakchasing, let’s try to sneeze out the insanity and insensibility for a change ‘haakthi’! Daylight robbery has become a sort of entrepreneurial skill. What else could be the reason for the scarcity of petrol just from the announcement of a highway blockade—mind it, not from the blockade but just from its announcement — regardless of its senselessness? When are the agitators in the hills ever going to understand that their blockades have never affected the government, but rather this kind of protest has been only torturing the general people?