On the Educated Morons from the School of Cynicism

We are pretty familiar about the fable of the cunning fox, who could never relish those ripe and juicy grapes. It consoled itself from sheer helplessness that the grapes are indeed sour. The fox has found new company in some of us.

Allow me to introduce a breed of individuals from our very community who can be best compared to that sly fox. This breed has a typical mindset that the grapes are not just sour but bitter too. Oh! Please do not be taken aback when you find that this particular group belongs to the very society where we live. Most of them look smart at least in their outward appearance, and it also seems they are well educated. The only problem with them is that they are too impractical, cynical, discouraging; and negative energy entirely possesses them.

Pessimism is a tag they have rightfully bagged. They are the ones who are prone to whine on trivial issues, good only in raising up their cynical voices to discourage others who are at least trying to contribute their share in shaping and constructing at least a live-able society. For more information on them, I have defined few of their characteristics in the following manner.

Masters in the Art of Cynicism
Who would love to master in the art of Cynicism? Who, but them? They have successfully failed to think beyond the realm of cynicism. They are empowered and inspired to move on in their lives with a Master’s degree in Cynicism. If you ever try to prove them wrong, you are but playing with wild fire. They are seriously the hopeless breed of individuals who would always try to judge others with all their goddamn ego-ridden flaws. They are the terrible cowards who would go to any extent to scare you with their fears.

The Impractical Lots
Action speaks louder than words? Not really for this particular breed. This breed loves to build an imaginary virtual world. They prefer to hide themselves in some civilized but imaginary society created out of their impracticality. Their minds travel places, learn and collect experiences from every corner in the world. The new-found knowledge for them is the construction material for their dream homes. They are the ones who would cram the Thoreaus, Sartres and Camuses while losing their life, their thoughts so disconnected in a troubled society. They are too unrealistic like kids who play make-belief games and are not ready to face the harsh realities of life. They think they are the educated lots who know everything. They are not even near to smart but in every field, they would act over-smart. Quite an amazing trait, ha?

The ‘I-could-have-done-it-better’ Attitude
There is a saying in Manipuri: ‘Khudombina maantop khanba’. We know its meaning quite clearly and we know who we are talking about. The ‘I-could-have-done-it-better’ attitude is one of their defining primary characteristics. They would not mind brooding on their world for dog number of days, weeks or months; and when someone comes up with something different and practical, they cannot help but flaunt their sickening attitude ‘I could have also done that, damn it!’

All in all, if we evaluate their overall characteristics, it is nothing new to admit that the grapes are really bitter and sour for them and the reasons are clearly understandable.

These educated morons are threats to a decent society which each one of us dreams about. For every little effort we try to clear up the mess, they would ponder on finding flaws showing off their incorrigible attitude badge. They would never do anything worthwhile, and the only thing they are good at is in criticizing others. They might have read thousand of books on evolution and civilization but it’s sadly true that they are themselves threats to a civilized society we ever dream about. They do have a serious problem when their contemporaries try to think or act out of the box. They are fed on cynical-vitamins. They simply cannot survive without those vitamins. They eat, drink, sleep and even shit cynicism. They think it’s cool to morally discourage others for the very flaws they have. How very disgusting!

I am not a racist but I am extremely (not at all) sorry to admit that I sincerely abhor this tribe of cynics who try to drag us down every time we try to do something different in our day-to-day lives. They might be banks of knowledge, they might be brilliant, they might be personally very harmless but I seriously won’t mind calling them the educated good-for-nothing MORONS. I would also proudly and personally address them as the ‘sick race’ relatively vulnerable to ‘depression’. They need our wishes and prayers. I would personally donate a few bucks for them to buy the ‘anti-depression pills’.

This article was published on 19 Feb 2012

Maximising a Few Maxims from Manipur

Masak fajabana mayam-gi, maramokpana leikaigi, nungsibana eigi... Denoting the sense and sensibility of an ideal dream Pakhang, this maxim is one of the best of its kinds I have ever come across. Any Leishabi would but love to have one such Pakhang as her beau or perhaps her dream Knight in shining Thaang-saang. Whatsoever exaggeration over this very maxim is clearly exempted from any kind of criticism and what’s more endearing to acknowledge is that this dream Pakhang in question could be any Hongba, Chaoba, Tomba or Ta Nando from next leikai for whom the Leishabi needs to provide is just an innuendo.

Leaving aside the Leishabi/Pakhang centric maxim, there are a few more maxims that are perhaps a weathered means to pamper the temper of any Lalita, Ibempishak or Tababi. To cite a few of them ‘Chaada saasina chakhom chaobi, U-da Saasina Meetlaobi’, ‘Pemma yelhou fabi tungi poloi yengnasi’, ‘Mapaam chaaksu chaada Mawa Chaaksu chaada’—all these maxims for sure cannot tickle any girl/woman’s funny bones. In fact, any Manipuri girl would not love to hear any of the above maxims staunchly directed to her even if she badly deserves the same. If I would be excused for a while, I would love to bluntly admit that these maxims at least to me reflect a typical patriarchal norm that is very much relevant with our own Manipuri society. Despite the fact that I am totally ignorant about the very origin of these maxims, I have formed my own prejudices about them however at my own risk.

There are again some hilariously-humorous maxims that are not gender specifics. ‘Mashagi Shumaang Sitana Meegi Shumaang Sitpa’ is one from the category. Reasonably apt and up to the point to describe any talkative, good for nothing black sheep in any leikai who dares to get drunk at the cost of 10 Rupees forcibly taken from his poor wife/mother, this is one hell of a maxim. I am quite sure that we have habitually used it during many conversations especially to outwit someone who tries to pin-point his/her dirty finger at us. The sardonic note of this very axiom is more of a direct thump below the belt.

‘Dolai Tongbigidamak Waikuup Pubina Waabiba’ is again a very funny one that clearly reflects a damn care attitude that reads something like—‘Mind your own business baby’. And Yes! ‘Sa-bina Mama Noknaba’ is possibly the best of all aphorisms that are directed to pull someone’s leg. The English version ‘The Pot Calling the Kettle Black’ is as amusing as the local-centric one. I have never seen a ‘Sabi’ in my life. From its features I have heard from my mom, I can only visualise it as an ugly creature whose ugliness is beyond any good comparison except with its mother what an irony? I can undoubtedly acclaim again that most of us have used this maxim umpteen times from time to time. Isn’t it funny how we can indicate our conscience or react to someone’s abusive or witty comment with just a single maxim? In the absence of these clichés, we would have been dumbfounded to counter someone’s ill-will or cunning-mannerism. So, as long as one isn’t diagnosed of verbal diarrhoea, it is fair to use any maxim that one prefers and acts or talks very shrewd or smart.

All in all, on a serious note, if we believe in aesthetic-literature, maxims are also a meaningful part of it. Sometimes it could be in the form of a riddle, sometimes it could be a witty deluge of cunning words and sometimes it could be a humorous uproar of carefully chosen vocabularies, if you know when and how to relevantly use any of the maxims, the microphone is all yours. Good orators no wonder take help of many maxims and metaphors while delivering any speech. Can anyone prove me wrong here?

Well, as far as Manipuri Maxims are concerned, I guess no formal information or literary sources are ever associated with any of them. Some of the books on Manipuri Maxims are randomly published by some publishers in Manipur. Kudos to them for their initiatives. For most of us, we learned all these maxims from our elders and teachers and later relate them with our own lives, to be passed on to the next generation. Every community, society or State has its own maxims as far as I know. Would it therefore be too overstated to enlist them as a part of our own literary-seed?

If a maxim a day keeps literary-deficiency at bay, I would not mind learning at least 100 of them every single day, provided I have an affordable time. For those, who are eager to maximise few more maxims from Manipur, please don’t mind to bother me anytime. We should never underestimate any aphorism because you never know a mundane dictum randomly directed to our dearest political-leaders could someday give rise to a drastic or dramatic revolution in Sanaleibaak.

Happy Maxim-ising!

This article was published on 10 Sep 2011

Contemporary Manipuri Pakhangs — Chauvinistic yet Adorable!

He would sing a typical song to sweep you off your feet. He would try a seasoned trick to win your heart. He would at times make you feel stupid and worth nothing. He would compel you to stay in a cocoon, set a long list of rules and regulations a ‘do this, do that’ and many unendurable demands. However, despite all these you would still find him adorable. A magnetic force draws you towards him and you end up falling in love with him because he is irresistibly sensible.

Presenting none other than the Contemporary Manipuri Pakhang who is chauvinistic yet adorable in many ways!

You may often misjudge him for his arrogance which is a protective shield to ward any unwanted situation. Tell you what? Most of the guys prefer to be called ‘rude-dudes’. And the reason is pretty hilarious. It makes them feel like ‘real men’. It is their inimitable style to wear an attitude badge not to get rid of you from his life but to protect or check trespassers to their shielded existence. So, next time when you think your beau is one hell of a rude guy, try to discover the hidden love and affection in his rudeness. Bingo! The magic is sure going to work wonders. Trust yourself, if not me.

Stubborn, chauvinistic, laid-back, egoistic — these are some negative adjectives that do describe them. They love flaunting their dogmatic attitude as if that is the best achievement they have ever made. However, that is a short-lived attribute among them. They would inflate their own ego and deflate the same, beg on his knees and apologize (even for that mistake you made/make).

When it comes to songs or music, they are one of the eligible lots to participate even on a global platform. It’s indeed surprising that most of the Manipuri Guys play guitar and can sing any Manipuri, Hindi or English number. From ‘Do Dil Mil Rahe Hain’ to ‘Born to be Wild’, they learn the chords easily and yeah aptly too. Born with a good taste of music, our very own Manipuri Pakhangs are always advanced than other guys from elsewhere [sorry for being a little (read big) typical here].

Sometimes he would spoil you as if you are a princess from a fairy land. Sometimes he would become the child himself, seeking lots of attention as if you are his artificial mom. But it doesn’t mean he is immature. They do have this sickening habit of acting pricey. Emotionally taunting is one hell of an art they have mastered and also researched on. But great and good, did the great Winston Churchill remark, are seldom the same man.

Another trait about Manipuri Pakhangs which can be appreciated is their patriotic sense and their ardent love for the motherland. During casual get together or any social occasion, stories of bomb blasts and blockades bind them together. Though usually, most of the Manipuri guys don’t seem to gel well with one another, separated in their own world. Needless to cite the long list of examples from those weekend hang outs or catch-up with friends and quarrels over silly topics, there is something so common when it comes to issues that affect all of us. These norms are pretty popular and almost used to. But it doesn’t mean they don’t have any collective sense of responsibility towards the state. At the prospect of any impending social or political chaos in the state, they unite together and are poised to resort to any action, taking nationalism to a new high. Come what may, they are all for the state. They would sound damn care, irresponsible or insensible during other occasion but when it comes to any matter of the state, they don’t take any crap from anyone. This patriotism in them is indeed very endearing.

The songs that they sing the verses that they recite, the musical instruments that they play and not to forget the lucrative career opportunities they are exploring — I guess our Alpha Manipuri Pakhangs deserve more attention and admiration from us as well. And dear leishabis, next time you underestimate an eligible Manipuri Pakhang, please refer to what all things I have told about them because they are aptly true.

‘Masak Fajabana Mayamgi, Maram Mokpana Leikaini, Nungsibana Eigi’ — would you not love to flaunt your beau among your friends like this? Oh come on! I know you would sure love to right? By the way, we can add it is much to be a ‘hawaimaan’, though it is more to be a gentleman.

Well, my views and understanding of Manipuri Pakhangs exclude those who do not give themselves a chance to grow up. Sorry to say this but, they are the hopeless lots and probably the ones who shoo away fellow Manipuri girls. Pretty Leishabis, I hope none of you ever endures any of the obnoxious and unendurable breed of Pakhangs.

This article was published on Dec 18 2011