Petrolpreneurship in Manipur: A Lousy Business Option

Petrolpreneurship is currently chosen as a profitable business option by many individuals since it is the easiest one to start sans any management skill or experience. As a result of the rising tribe of petrolpreneurs in Manipur, the price of petrol is inflated every now and then, while the purse of common people is deflated. A ridiculous business option, Manipur Masala shares some serious concerns about petrolpreneurship: the business of ‘Kok chaaklaba and karaam chaoba lots of gari thao’.

Manipur is a haven for black marketers and that is our open secret. The nature of ‘black marketing’ keeps changing from time to time. Out of the many options, cooking gas and petrol are two easy targets for the black marketers to churn maximum revenue out of a minimum investment. Nobody can ignore the gas or petrol because we live in a modern society. So, one has acquaintances at the petrol pumps, why not share the profit with them and start a thao yonbagi dukan? So is the case of cooking gas. Sounds funny but this is exactly how things are going on in our state.

My area of interest is not in conducting a thorough research in black marketing in Manipur. Statistics lies, formal studies are a source of ridicule in Manipur, though it is no wonder considering again, the great Manipuri mentality. However, it concerns my sanity when some basic needs of the common people such as cooking gas and petrol are relegated to black marketing every now and then with the authorities turning a ‘mitaang’ eye; though I might be biased as the Indian Oil Corporation is also a major stakeholder in this great Indian state.

Greed and lunacy have inspired the black marketers to such an extent that they leave no stone unturned to rob us every now and then. The present petrol shortage is a clear-cut example of how we are robbed in broad daylight. When have we ever got relief from fuel crisis in Manipur? Why petrolpreneurship is not yet questioned? Why black marketers are openly fed right from our pockets? Who are these black marketers? And why isn’t our media reporting anything about who are the gory thugs controlling such markets here in Manipur? Also, why is our government so comfortably numb and dumb during many a situation like this? These are some questions we should start discussing about. Artificial drought, artificial shortage of fuel, artificial crimes- how many more artificial problems do we need to enlist? Oh, these are just trivial questions. Ta:Naobi says he is happy, he gets the best dishes for wife, he gets the best ‘asaaba’, he earns the maximum profit, whenever there is a blockade.

I empathize with many Khura-Taada and Eney-Indol selling petrol openly at their thongaal (though the most common venue of selling petrol is near, or to be precise, at the entrance of the petrol pump). Isn’t it ironic? Petrol pumps run out of petrol and then all of a sudden, there are so many temporary petrol yonfam dukan swarming up near the petrol pumps. Most of them seem to have collaborated with the petrolpreneurs but they do not seem to be the real culprits. They try to earn a humble livelihood by selling those bottles of petrol with a little profit. I don’t intend to trigger a crusade that would snatch away their means of livelihood. But at the same time, they should also keep in mind that they are caught in a wrong business and that they should think of an alternative means of livelihood before they turn themselves into ‘petrolpreneurs’. Or shortly, the mahajon they had got the petrol from, in the first place.

They say we should always have faith in ‘God’ in good and especially in bad times. Well, here’s my self composed prayer for thee oh ‘God’. ‘Our Father in Soraren holy be thy name, shrewd be thy justice. Sanctify thy children who are ‘kok chaaklaba and karaam jao’ or clear their ‘burdened presence’ from this blue planet of ours. I shall thence offer expensive incense sticks, exotic flowers and scented candles if ye listen to this humble prayer of mine. Amen!’

PS: In a land like Manipur, people never run short of prospective business avenues. So, it seems the day won’t be far when some lunatic business enthusiasts would also come up with airpreneurship; a sort of stocking up fresh air in a tank and selling it at an inflated rate to customers. As a part of ‘thou leitana thou thiba’ project, I have even thought about a few brand names for them with their taglines. ‘Nungsit Chaoba Air Suppliers—As pure as it can be’, ‘Nungsit Tombi Air Suppliers—Pure, Fresh and Affordable Air Just a Call Away’. I would love to visualize and even direct a few television commercials for this particular business. It would be an out-of-the-world experience for everybody. Hello investors, have you made up your mind to churn out the maximum revenue from such a lucrative business opportunity? Think about it.

This article was published on 3 May 2015
 

School Close Down in Manipur: A Not-So ‘Nupa Thokpa’ Attitude!

Some schools are currently shut down like computers. Well, negotiations are dauntlessly going on. So, these schools, like computers, may be switched on sooner or later. In the meantime, thousands of students are sitting idle at their homes. They cannot go to school even if they want to. What a funny situation? Students want to attend their classes and yet they cannot. Manipur Masala finds this closing down of schools in Manipur a not so ‘nupa thokpa’ attitude.

They say (well they always say) education is the basic right of every child. However, in Manipur it’s debatable whether education is a basic right of every child or not. It should not be a shocking discovery to the rest of the world to know that in our state schools are closed down every now and then just to fulfill the whims and fancies of some ‘do not dare to mention’ groups. But what is funnier is that no one cares, no one ever wants to care. Students enjoy the extended holidays; teachers/parents cannot raise their voice. They are like the operating system of a computer, programmed to do only what they are programmed to do. Well, negotiations are going on. So these schools, like computers, may be switched on sooner or later.

Whatever be their demand or their mode of negotiation, have they ever bothered about the students who have more or less become ‘scapegoats’? I don’t think so. How can they be so illogically moronic? Closing down schools till further notice- that’s it? What kind of notice? That they have settled the matter with the management bodies and that their demands are being fulfilled? But what about the wasted weeks during which thousands of students could not attend their classes? Who is going to compensate the same for them?

In our state, every Hongba, Choba or Tomba wants to fulfill his whims and fancies. The situation is something like this-Oh! We have a magic wand (read supreme power and authority), let’s brainstorm about a wish ta da! (FYI, the only time they ever brainstorm is when they want to impose a demand). Abra ka dabra! Here’s our wish. We want so and so conditions from this and that school so notify the concerned authorities. If they agree to it then it’s fine but if they are reluctant to do so, close down their schools. Who cares? The students will enjoy an extended vacation; the school authorities will put their ass on fire and will run here and there to settle the matter as soon as possible. If they don’t do so in time, they will have to pay the price later errr they will have to conduct extra classes or even ask the students to attend schools on Sundays to cover the syllabus.

Please welcome to ‘Incredible Manipur’, one of the rarest places in the whole wide world where students cannot go to their schools even if they want to. Welcome to Manipur, a tech savvy jungle located in the Northeast India where business minded beasts rule the roost.

The current situation i.e. closing down of some schools in Manipur, should be treated as a sensitive issue. But I wonder what all the sensible civil societies and guardians are up to. Why aren’t they taking up any stern action? Or are they under a ‘waa ngaangba yaadaba’ spell?

Well, let the negotiations and talks between the school authorities and the ‘don’t dare to mention’ groups go on till 32nd December or 31st February. But for god’s sake, let the students resume their studies. We are not living in a jungle. So, better stop acting like uneducated beasts. We have enough bandhjaos, bandhnaos, blockades and brouhahas in our society to mar the study of our students. Let’s at least leave the education zone free from such insensible demand/shamand or percentage/wercentage issues. Let’s pledge for a free and fair education zone. Let the students study, because that’s what they are meant to do.

PS- Over the years, Manipur has become a haven for rabble-rousers, hooligans and what not. In the name of the father, son and the Holy Ghost, I sincerely wish that they perish away from this blue planet of ours as soon as possible. Their existence on this earth is what they call ‘malem loomnabagi masak’. Dear God Alah/Jesus/Krishna/Sidaba Mapu, please be a little ‘nupa thokpa’ and make my wish come true. If not, I will start believing that you don’t exist.

This article was published on 19 April 2015

A Mid-Sajibu Day's Choirol

Along came Sajibu with Yeningtha—the queen of seasons. It’s that time of the year when Mother Nature puts on her flamboyant gown. However, for the past few years in Manipur, the arrival of Yeningtha has become synonymous to an impending man-made drought that lasts for a month or so. Water scarcity between the months of Sajibu and Kaalen has become a seasonal norm. So, we have yet another phobia to offbeat blockade phobia: ‘Esing fanglaroidra haibagi phobia.’

Yeningtha is supposed to be the best time of the year for everyone; merrymaking and basking in the beauties of Nature, while Yaoshang and Cheiraoba offer their best. But a wind of apprehension continuously sweeps at the possibilities of an impending drought in our (sana di leitaba) Sanaleibaak for the last few years.

The causes of water scarcity in Manipur are natural as well as artificial. While it is obvious about the natural factors, the artificial factors should be seriously considered.

Rising guild of waterpreneurs and commercialization of water

Water, water, everywhere yet 250 bucks to pay for 500 litres is the present norm of the day. They say water is precious (oh yes, it is). Water saves lives (yes, it does). Preserve water (who does that but the waterpreneurs).

Over the years, Manipur has evolved its image as a land of enterprising entrepreneurs (which in my opinion is a pretty good sign). It’s encouraging to know about the rising guild of promising entrepreneurs in our state. But then there are some who are caught in the wrong business namely esing thika louba kaangbu, goolie, yoo or any type of mayai kaaba nisha yonba kaangbu. Their sense of business is beyond my good understanding. Waterpreneurship or in simple terms esing yonba gi thika has become quite a fad. Water reservoirs are empty for the masses but they are not for waterpreneurs and that’s where we should start pondering over.

If there is enough water supply for the waterpreneurs why not for the masses? Or is it that they are sharing whatever profit that they loot from the public? If there is a problem at any of the water reservoirs, isn’t it the duty of the concerned authorities to tackle it? How can they sell us what we deserve for free?

Measures to be taken up to fight water scarcity
1. Appeasing the Rain God
“Appeasing the Rain God with dhoop thaomei, flowers and fruits would be one of the ideal measures to fight water scarcity,” says Louwu Sing-u expert Mr. Tomaal. Many civilians are also of the opinion that if they keep appeasing the Rain God, they will not suffer from drought or a drought like situation in Manipur. Superstitious though it sounds, it is one of the measures that can be recommended to fight water scarcity in Manipur.

2. Empowerment of a proper Frog ministry
Empowering the various Frog ministers also seems to be one of the sensible options. The frogs have been contributing a major share in maintaining talks with the ministry of nong chingi affairs currently based in the Soraren Department. They have been meticulously croaking for days and nights as a result of which the state has finally received some amount of rainfall over the past few days.

In a state like Manipur, it is an ironical situation where frogs are more effective than the MLAs, ministers and their concerned departments.

3. Harvesting of rain water at our own Pukhri /tank
The best solution to fight water scarcity is by harvesting enough rain water at our own pukhri or water tanks. It’s the high time to dig more pukhri or construct tanks. Having a pukhri in our ingkhol may sound old-fashioned to many but then it is one of the best ever solutions to fight water scarcity. Awareness programs on hygienic harvesting of rain water should be held by ‘mabukchel chaoba NGOs’. Media should also play its role in educating the masses about proper harvesting of rain water. By and by, water is our basic necessity. Let us not waste it. Let us not commercialize it as well.

This article was published on 5 April 2015
 

An Open Letter to New Prime Minister of India

Mr Prime Minister-designate,

Kem cho? Mazaama?

I heartily congratulate you on becoming the new Prime Minister of India. As another era of the Congress Government comes to an end, the nation is looking forward to a complete Modi-fication of the so-called Indian nation from every perspective. I am sure your government will bring a revolution, again, in the nation.

I have stayed in Gujarat for three years. No other Indian state has ever impressed me the way your state does. You can, in fact, consider me as the brand ambassador of Gujarat (if it were a brand like the way you want to pamper the flamboyant corporate). Again, I have unforgettable memories about Ahmedabad and Gandhinagar. The officials at Gandhinagar helped me and my friend to get our hostel admission. It would be a mammoth task to find officials like them in any of the sectors here in our state. Forget about the essentials, some people allege our education department is the most corrupt section. We have reasons not to refute it.

Well, in the arrival of a new political system at the centre, why would only our local government be hopeful about the impending funds and grants? I would not say I’m excited like the anti-Congress mass of the great Indian unwashed but I have a short list of complaints from my home state. Please make sure this list is not dumped in a dust bin like people would throw away those empty Styrofoam cups of teas.

To begin with, we do not have adequate power supply despite the fact that we have an enormous hydro-electricity plant. Even a five-year-old kid can explain about load shedding in a detailed manner. Electricity is a luxury that the majority of the population here cannot afford to have. The situation is worst during summer like nowadays. With just three hours power supply a day, it is quite an intolerable situation here. I wish you can do something about it — and we have lost our hope in the state government.

My next complain is about the Armed Forces (Special Powers) Act, or shortly, the AFSPA. I am sure you must be aware about it. It is one of the chief tools of Indian security system. Manipur has been living in the shadow of AFSPA for all these decades. Please imagine, if AFSPA were imposed in Gujarat because you share border with Pakistan, how would you feel about it? How would you feel if security personnel torture innocent Gujaratis simply because they suspect them as terrorists? It might be hard to even think about it, but that’s a sad truth that we have been compelled to undergo day in and day out. Sometimes we forget India has got independence 67 years ago, because you know, we have so many of these colonial stuffs.

It is encouraging in a sense. We do not have a leader like you here in Manipur. We do not have anyone who can stand up and speak out about such grievances that are continually faced by the hoi-polloi. Manipur has no doubt many name-sake leaders who are only interested in percentages. They do not have any sense of nationalism or belongingness to their state or to the nation. Please ensure to instil the same sense of patriotism that you have for Gujarat among our ministers.

As far as corruption is concerned, the price of a signature of any government official ranges from Rs. 200 to god knows the upper limit. I have personally been compelled to pay bribe to a few officials just for a few signatures. We have this habit of stealing from the public exchequer. These so called officials have reduced themselves to a shameless breed of morons who exploit the system as per their whims and fancies. I would not spare even my relatives or acquaintances who profess, practice and propagate corruption.

There is not a dearth of honest officers in the system. However, as the majority wins the vote, they cannot exercise their power. It does not matter even if you have received only 31 percent of the one billion votes. It’s quite a pathetic situation here. We desperately need a wind of change in the state.

I won’t ask you to sanction crores of rupees for the development of the region. The reason is obvious. Any sanctioned amount from the centre never reached or will reach the rightful recipients. I would refrain from citing Rajiv Gandhi’s view of one-paisa-to-the-needy example. The fact is that every fund always ends up in the personal accounts or pockets of ministers and their sub-ordinate offices or bureaucrats. A few of them even went to God-knows-how Russia. Please check the website of the Loktak development office that was created in Russian language in the name of a non-existing firm, if by chance you meet your technology officer who did a wonderful job during the last election campaign.

Well, I don’t want to bore you with the unnecessary details through this letter. I just need a few positive answers for a few questions — Can you promise us at least 10-hour power supply a day, if not 15 or 20? Can you promise us to repeal the draconian law like AFSPA? Please you can leave the other black laws; we will put up with them. Can you promise us a corruption-proof system? Can you promise a better education system for the next generation? Can you promise us a brand new Manipur?

Eagerly waiting for your reply.

Aawo Jo!
Regards,
A Depressed Manipuri
25 May 2014, Imphal East.

This article was published on 25 May 2014. The sworn-in/oath-taking ceremony of the new prime minister is scheduled on 26 May 2014.

The Waakching Diary — On Welcoming the New Year

This New Year started with a bang, so to say, and with a few uningdaba-taningdaba incidents. While many of us could not even afford a packet of bamboola to welcome the New Year, some exceeded their limit of afao saaba or gupthi touba by exploding bombs to mark the celebration. In the same breath, we can add it’s not a new thing.

Well, it is perhaps a matter of pride to admit that ours is a land where a pre-nursery kid can even distinguish the sound of a bomb from that of a bamboola. Again, it won’t be too far when we can buy bombs from a grocery store and use them anywhere, anytime for our own personal reasons; logical or illogical, it matters not. So, you had a tiff with Tomba or Chaoba or when someone said no to a request or command or whatsoever, hurl a bomb—that’s the best ever way to settle a score. And that’s a lesson our society has been teaching us. Who needs a ‘reasonable’ reason in our leiraks and leikais?

New Year, Old Craps

Anouba chahi, anouba manglaan and anouba wakhalon sound so good to listen to or read about, but when it comes to the reality in our state, one should clearly hear it and read between the lines. Comfortably numb; we have started expecting any untoward incident with this deep-rooted psyche that we are meant to endure all these bullshits all around the year.

We are being told and convinced that we are the citizens of the largest democracy yet it is almost like a pipedream when it comes to our rights. Why is there a black maikhal when it comes to exercising our democratic rights in our homeland? Why should we be immune to any unfavourable incident that happens every now and then? Bans, restrictions and more bans and restriction—sometimes the prevailing claustrophobia is too hard on our senses.

To cite the simplest example, if you go out with friends in the late evenings, you get frisked mandatorily by the security personnel. There is no implication that we only want to go out in the evenings but you get what I mean; after all we are the united people of the united land. And whether you have proper documents for your vehicle or not, you will be charged, at least a Yaangkhei or Chaama note for their allowances, read their cha thaknaba. I wonder if we should start carrying cha in a Moreh flask to avoid giving cha-thaknaba sen to the thirsty lots, eh?!

Old Habits Die Hard

Paying bribes is a noble chatnabi in Manipur. The more you pay, the better you are and the higher post you get in the lone governmental jobs and the faster a task is completed. Well, which chatnabi are we referring to? Are we not the ones who have been promoting this chatnabi in the first place? What had started should come to an end. It’s the high time we re-look at the aged-old formula of economics’ demand and supply and restate this way: Where there isn’t any supply, demand will ultimately stop.

So, from this year onwards, let us start making some sense (not necessarily in a factory or some sort of an assembly line).

If you have proper documents for your vehicle, have the guts to tell a straight ‘No’, if they ask you for a Yaangkhei or Chaama-chapi note. If you are eligible for a particular post, never ever think about mortgaging your lou or ingkhol just to pay lacs to the ridiculously sounding ‘concerned authorities’.

It is the high time we continuously remind ourselves that this is our own homeland. We are not supposed to feel like an alien here. Why should we be afraid to loiter freely in our homeland? Why should we be scared to drive anywhere in our own city no matter the time of the day or night? Why should they have a price tag for a job opening that we are eligible for? Let us start questioning ourselves with such questions from time to time. It is easier said than done but again, there has to be an end and there has to be a new beginning. And the New Year is just the right time.

On other occasions, it is sheer stupidity to yell ‘Akhoigi ngamkhei kaiba yaaroi’ when we are busy building walls fencing ourselves away from our neighbours. All we need is a daily dose of sanity which is available at free of cost. When we talk about these issues, the list will be endless. A small beginning has the potential to make a big impact. Let this New Year enlighten us all and help us have our stand. Let our state rise from the slumber and shine.

Wishing all of you a very happy and sensible new year!

This article was published on 5 Jan 2013

Of Sangai Fever and Dilemmas So Wild

Manipur Masala has some spicy matam-matamgi news and views to share with all the readers. This is a special collection for you.

sA packet of santhi at present costs ten rupees, as the tok-nga effect, many households have stocks of thoom packet that would last for at least a year or so, and most interestingly, if you park your vehicle for more than two hours at a particular site, more so in the zero mile, the bomb squad may come to your rescue to lend you a helping hand and to give it a kick-start. That’s how low our life has plunged into.

The mess has got company. The All Manipur Thou Leitraba Association (AMTLA), Wangkhei Konung Mamang branch, has come to this resolution that November should be observed as Wangkhei Konung Mamang Sorok Semgat Saagatpa Tha for the obvious reasons.

As regards to the main venue of the Sangai Festival—the construction, renovation and decoration works for the Wangkhei Konung Mamang had been on full swing, right from the beginning of the month. The toukhaiba, leibaak and noong thaaba and koilaash thaaba have become a major part of the pre-preparation of the festival in the vicinity of the venue.

The festival kicked off the other day, with great pomp and show, and will continue for the rest of the month. However, the preparation has left some open questions.

How many times must a thikadaar construct a road before it is finally constructed? Will it continue in the future too? Do our government departments have a deep pocket for maintaining the road every year? And yes, if there is a need for lambi semgat saagatpa in and around the vicinity of the main venue of the festival, why not so in other places, elsewhere in the city/state? If the Sangai Festival is the carnival of Manipur, the whole state should also wear a renovated look. Why just a few areas? The time has truly stopped when Manipur indulges in a fake orgy.

The route that stretches from Kangla and Sanjenthong to Hapta Kangjeibung has been adorned like a bride in full glittering costume. The other day, while passing through the stretch, I had this feeling ‘Eh Delhidum maaliney swaisidi’. I had an oxymoronic wish that our entire state should also wear a uniform look like that. Is this too much to ask from the government?

Luckily for Wangkheilites, the festival is a blessing in disguise. We have been enjoying uninterrupted power supply. Most of us are not used to such a facility. It seems a little teina-onaba routine when we can switch on our television sets or charge our mobile phones anytime during the day. We are so pampered by this festival. Usually, it was all different. We had to charge our phone with this trepidation on our mind that the mei will muut anytime.

Mei laaklingeida chaak thongdokba has been the catchword in many leirak and leikai. Many families would prepare their dinner during daytime. All thanks to the Sangai Festival, many families at least in Wangkhei, have redefined the experience of preparing dinner in time and relishing it in the fong fong saaba way. What a luxury in this new millennium! But then, for many leikais, the dark nights still rule. What seems like a blessing in disguise for some is a dark curse for many.

There is a saying that behind every successful man, there is a woman. Well, in a localised version—behind every luxury of uninterrupted power supply, we have more localities lost in the darkness. Back in the Nineties, it was either due to lack of or abundance of water at the hydroelectric project. Now the electricity department has a thousand reasons of darkness.

The situation is pathetic especially for the school kids as this is the time of the year for annual final exams. All the families cannot afford an inverter or a generator. Regular power supply should be provided so that there is no hindrance; after all, it is a matter of the future of the children. I know most of our children are used to studying under the made-in-Thailand Moreh lamps, I just wish they had a better option.

Well, the festival flaunts the rich culture and tradition of Manipur on one hand. While on the other, it shames us with the naked truth of how we are experts in ‘mawong maalhanba heiba’. They light up some specific areas in the city to feast the eyes of foreign tourists while the overall backdrop of the city remains darker than ever before. Beauty is, we know, just skin deep. Whatsoever, I am allergic to such a khadrak as long as the colour of my conscience does not turn grey.

Can we expect better road facilities across the city by the next Sangai Festival? Can we expect better power supply? Can we have an ultimate cure from the prevailing fear psychosis? I know not who will provide a positive reply for my questions. As always, amambada wai sitchari ei, just to avoid the allergic sight of ufool waifool. For more news, please do read the newspapers.

This article was published on 24 Nov 2013

The Hiyangei Diary — A Reconciliation!

Like a haiba inbi daughter of my palem, I packed my bags and took a flight back home from Delhi, relieving myself from the hectic schedules of big city life. There is no comparison to the feeling of relocating back at home, mingling among my folks and sharing a relaxed smile with them.

I love waking up listening to the chirps of uchek-waya here rather than pricking my ears to the kabari waala or sabji waala yakairol back in Delhi. Paneer masala or chicken kadhai does not score a yummier mark than mom’s kaangsoi or eronba. A chance meeting with an old friend and the accompanying chit-chats make my day. Walking beneath the starlit night of hiyangei sky, the never ending heegatpa session with siblings and cousins, the smell of insaang ahaoba from one of the leikaigi chakhum and the accompanying ‘chaak laambagi’ expression on our faces not to forget mom’s culinary skill that has now been upgraded to bubok’s-Ah! It’s indeed good to be at home. I want to cherish this feeling forever provided I have enough courage to ignore or endure hypocrisy, mindlessness and the laid-back attitude that are most often observed among our folks.

Well, I must not forget to mention about the yumfam yaodaba rumours that have become a favourite nga-mok for us. We generally love relishing any tok-nga with utter delicacy (as if it’s some scrumptious achapot). The latest one being the thoom fangdabagi tok-nga.

A busy afternoon for all of us, the wedding preparation for my cousin was in full swing on that day. Amid the nupamayumgi thouraang and hobey-hobey chenaba hours, I overheard some leikaigi eney-endol worriedly telling each other about one of the (apparently) paakhatningai oiba situations they ever have to face i.e. unavailability of salt. Quite a khayaaknaba experience for many, it eventually turned out to be a rumour but the series of thoom-thiba missions that happened during the day were beyond my thajabagi waangmada.

Panicked by the possible shortage of thoom, the most important ingredient of every chakhum, there was a frantic search for thoom packet everywhere across the city. ‘Packet ta lupa chaama youhoure hai, Mani dukandadi packet amtabu yaohoudre hai kamai touni tourisidi’. I overheard all these real-time dialogues among my folks and wanted to believe them as some funny dialogues from a Manipuri movie but I could not any more. The salty rumour kept on spreading like a wildfire. The rich and the poor were flaunting their purchasing ability of thoom khwaidei yaamna leisinba.

Meanwhile, it was a lucrative business opportunity for all those dukandaars who earlier stocked up sacks of salt packets of all brands. A packet of salt worth just seven bucks was sold at the price of hundred. And the funniest (read stupid) part was that people in deed bought thoom packets at a skyrocketing price sans any negotiation. I badly wanted to scream at the height of stupidity of our folks. Yet, I simultaneously felt sorry for their paakhatchaoba nature when it comes to the prospect of scarcity of any consumer item- be it thoom, cooking gas or petrol.

‘Oh Hello? This is Manipur. Just keep calm if you want to stay back here’- the interior monologue in my mind ultimately helped me pacify. Perhaps, reconciliation is the one and only solution. After all I made my own decision to come back here. Bomb blast, general strikes, yumfam yaodaba tok-nga or the ufool-waifool at the lambi sorok are just some oh-so-Manipur factors. We shall overcome them someday. Oh deep in my heart I do believe, we shall overcome someday (perhaps on 32nd December).

This article was published on 17 Nov 2013

The Big Bandh Theory

All the dictionaries provide a similar meaning for a general strike. Generally, it is an opposition in which workers in a particular industry or country stop working in order to force their employers to offer them better conditions or higher pay.

It is a different cup of cha-ngaang when we consider general strike or bandh in our state. We have defied history; when it comes to redefining our own concept of bandh or general strike.

In full support of all the logical and illogical general strikes often imposed across the state, Manipur Masala today presents the Big Bandh Theory in Manipur.

Well, seeing the frequency of bandhs in our state, it is the high time to have a registered body that will cater to all the concerns of bandh mongers. I would, first of all, recommend a customer care centre. Anyone with any reason to call a general strike can fetch his/her concern to the CCC. It should not matter if the reason is logical or otherwise.

Well, a few criterions for calling a bandh are enlisted below:

• If any Hongba, Chaoba or Tomba runs a poultry business and is facing some financial crunch, he has the full-fledged authority to call a bandh across the state.
• If any kwa-zarda aficionado Enebemma or Echebemma from any leikai finds out that the quality of their zarda is being compromised, she has every damn right to call a bandh against the so-called pan dukan owner.
• If someone else’ nganu lays its egg at your ingkhol, you can consume the same eggs. If the nganu owner asks about his nganu maroom, you have the right to call a bandh.
• This one is for all the parents. If your son or daughter scores less mark in their annual school peikha, you must seek any type of possible help from All Manipur Bandh Koujaningba Party to act against the school authority.
• Finally, the unavailability of mobile network can also be accounted as one valid reason for calling a bandh.

Still, our first priority is to form an autonomous body that will take care of all the concerns related to any type of bandh. So we should conduct a free yet unfair selection of the core members of the body. Candidates with a minimum experience of calling four to five bandhs so far can apply for the posts.

A theory and practical test will be conducted under the guidance of senior bandh mongers who have expertise in the field. For the theory test, all the candidates should write an essay on topics such as secret tips, tricks and tactics to make a bandh a super hit. For the practical test, all the candidates will be allotted a time period of one week within which they are supposed to call a successful bandh in their localities (not necessarily across the state).

In a few years, we can expect to include ‘The Big Bandh Theory in Manipur’ in the syllabus of political science, ethically approved by the board of education and university.

It is therefore the duty of each and every Manipuri to promote this theory across the state. We do not need any special measure to empower this theory. All we need to do is to switch off the sanity metre and plug on the gleaming moronic switch. It should not be a hard task for us since we are already addicted to a dumbfounded slumber for all these decades. And as long as there are enough yen-nganu for chaak chanaba, may more bandhs be called.

Three rounds of chaisen cheers to bandh mongers!

This article was published on 15 Sep 2013 

Donkey Monkey Swa - A Redefined Version!

Remember the game Donkey Monkey Swa that we used to play when we were kids? I bet it used to be one of the favourite games we ever played during those good old days. These days, we hardly find the children playing local games at the leikai lampaak and elsewhere.

However, this game, Donkey Monkey Swa, seems to have been redefined a little bit and has been reportedly playing within the realm of power paiba and power chalaiba kaangbu in our society.

In its earlier days, the game began in quite an amateur way. The fam-achouba paiba babu sahebs cracked the idea of redefining the game. Honourable Mr. Gorobi gave his full support and launched the game with the slogan ‘I want this much commission’. And as per the game, it’s but a strict rule to give Gorobi the claimed commission by hook or by crook.

The spirit of the game spread like wildfire from one department to another. Of late, most of our (echin enao kaina kouningdaba) security personnel have also become fond of this game. So, when they say ‘We want an Activa Honda’, they try to have it by any means. Even if that means they have to steal it illegally, of course with the help of a legal authority, consider they already have it.

Under a normal situation, security personnel are supposed to maintain law and order in our society. They are also supposed to protect us from thieves and criminals. Their presence around us should make us feel safe and secure.

However, it is a different glass of chaangang in our society when it comes to our security. They scare us like hell. We don’t want to have them around us because of many reasons more than one. Besides shameless acts like ekai-khangdana sen chaaba, waarak waatemdaba nature like ahal-laman khangdana khonda waoba, they have won another accolade – ‘Gaari huranbagi heinabi’. Beraney!

In a normal society, when we lose something we take help of the police to report the matter. But imagine the situation when we have to report about theft to the thieves. That would be like a ‘dassa nihey’ situation.

Wait, wait. The game does not end yet. We must not forget to mention one of the eligible candidates of this interesting game – the black marketers a.k.a. meeyamgi ee chupaga sen taaba kaangbu. Whenever there is a natural disaster or an economical chaos, they are the ones who earnestly play and benefit from the game. All they need to say is ‘We want price hike’ and the game automatically begins.

In every two or three months, petrol runs out of stock in our state (though the official reports always say they have enough stocks to meet the public demand). For many of us, it has become a habit to buy cooking gas cylinders only from the black market. Either we are too rich to afford anything that black marketers charge us or we are dumbstruck morons unaware of our action.

Every week and month, we need to have bandhs or general strikes that disrupt our normal lives. Standing for long queues for petrol has become a habit among our people.

Amid all these, the government who robs Tomba to pay Chaoba ardently enjoys playing Donkey Monkey Swa. So do our security personnel who misuse their power to make the society more ‘farangjai’.

We, the confused hoi polloi, prefer to play keku-lotpi with no courage for dhampa fongba. We are so used to bear the brunt of bandh/general strikes, petrol price hike and adu-ada price hike while the players keep on playing as much as they are enjoying the game.

Perhaps, leading a normal life has become something like rocket science in our state. Perhaps, the pursuit of at least a liveable society is going to be a long tiring journey. We must dare to remain optimistic. We must also remain as the mute spectators of the ongoing game- ‘Donkey Monkey Swa’.

This article was published on 1 Sep 2013

Has Manipur Become a Haven for Smugglers?

Besides the news and woes of armed conflicts, insurgencies, blockades and bandhs, we have one more infamous reason to be sedated with. The recent drug scam in the state opens many deliberations, which if openly discussed, can possibly trigger our narcotized sense.

We need to ask how it has been going on unabated for all these years. What has been the narcotics department, which we know it exists, doing all these years? Are they on morphine or heroin too, so high and numb to do anything?

Let us listen to the stories. From our childhood days, we have been hearing about Moreh, not only for the international candle, torchlight and numitlei, but also for being an international drug route and a haven for drug peddlers.

Recently, the two controversial, huge drug haul – at the airport and Pallel – have reopened the Pandora’s Box. This time, we have more than a crore’s worth fact to rely on. Quite surprisingly, the VDF personnels have done something really admirable. They had something to occupy their attention after successfully calling for bandh across the state. We appreciate they did something we never expect them they would, in nabbing the smugglers red handed.

Well, it is time to celebrate the fictitious victory of our brave hearts after so many games of chor-police played for many uncountable years. Well done, again. Now we expect them to nab many drug peddlers and wrong doers in the future too. Keep up the good work.

By the way, I have been wondering if our security personnel have become smarter because of a particular source, say for example, the television? No offence, but could it be possible that digitization of cable televisions in Manipuri homes is playing its tiny part in tackling such an issue of societal importance? Have we been watching too many episodes of Crime Patrol and CID on Sony Television? Is that how we have suddenly become street-smart and brave enough to come out of the dungeon of cowardice? Let me apologise all these dramatic nuisances with a ‘Bazinga’.

And yes, how cannot I mention the possible involvement of an MLA in one of the scams? Should we accept this news in a more dramatic way – like rolling our eyes in bewilderment, wearing an utterly surprised look? I don’t think so, because this has been be going on for years.

This time, only the dice did not roll in their favour. Lo and behold! The few poor souls are finally nabbed. I have listed two probable reasons why they were nabbed:

a. Failure to sign a mutual pact, make a negotiation between their group and the (we all know who) other party; and

b. An overdosed belief that they would walk out clean this time without any trace as it had always been.

With all the probable evidences, we can conclude that it was a case of overconfidence and dependability on temporarily unreliable sources.

Role of media during the scam

The questions about ‘not’ having good, reliable journalists have always alarmed us every now and then. While the issues in our society become lousier day by day, media seems to be always under control. Sometimes, I wonder if the whole media is on Hawaiian maui-wowie.

As for the national media, why do we bother if they really care about it or not? The story of stone drinking milk in a temple makes sensational breaking news across the country. Our stories, however, are not sensational enough to go live on the news channels. Let’s not be shocked to admit it.

Well, history has been the witness how we are used to dumping one case over another. These two scams may as well vanish into thin air even before we know who else are involved in these cases. Who can afford to remember all these things as we lay blissfully in our eternal ennui that identifies our state? ‘Nong nini leiraga kaonakhidouraba ngaaktani’ – yes, this is our pathetic mindset. We do not remind ourselves and others on various issues that are meant to be our concerns. This is where our local media fails, being pathetic in following up the stories.

This is perhaps the right time we ask ourselves a few questions that concern our youth and the future generation. Has Manipur really become a haven for smugglers? Have drugs become a daily dose for our survival? Are we not ready to consider probable solutions?

Are we raising many Escobars in our state? If not Escobar, is Zhenli Ye Gon one of the drug lords that our local peddlers worship? I know not any of the answers. It seems the civil society organisations are on hallucinogens, the system is on raw ephedrine and we the public are happily morphined. This must not go on forever.

This article was published on 3 March 2013

The Pursuit of Peace

We prove the Mayan myth wrong. The world did not end on 21st December. However, most of us were sickened by the unwanted curfews and general strikes in the form of protests over the molestation case of an artist from the film fraternity. The ending of this year has been a spoiler. The unwanted issues have dampened the festive spirit. Many of us had celebrated Christmas with a sober mood. Many of us, in fact, wished that the world had ended instead of going through the entire agitations and protests in the last few days.

Manipur has always been famous for the wrong reasons — insurgency, armed conflict, bomb blasts, blockades, curfews, extortions. We have formed many Joint Action Committees. We have protested endlessly in the streets and roads. We have formed enough mobs; we have burned tyres, blocked roads, destroyed vehicles. We have done everything in the name of protest. We have even lost many innocent victims like the unfortunate cameraman recently. Asibana maangjare has been the norm, whether we like it or not. I extend my heartfelt condolence to the bereaved family of the victim. I condemn the inhumane act of Manipur police personnel. They can shoot us anytime as if they are licensed to kill us. I must not forget to mention that AFSPA has been a memorable gift from India.

Next to the security personnel, I abhor those who mislead many of us with unnecessary rumours every now and then, during an ongoing ruckus. I know not the solution of any political or social unrest but I would never suggest or think about a violent protest by destroying properties, burning vehicles and pelting stones everywhere. We, the Manipuris, have proved it in the past and we did prove it recently how rebellious we are. I appreciate the rebellious spirit among us but it is intolerable on many occasions.

I am equally scared to know that most of have a shallow understanding of the issues that affect our society. A collective and logical sense of the right and the wrong is somehow missing in the context. We love our state. We can do anything to preserve and protect its territorial integrity. Alright, we know it and people in their right mind will appreciate the spirit. But the unanswered questions persist — Where is our stand? Why are we so desperate to wage a civil war, fighting for separate homelands? Why is there a deep mutual disrespect and mistrust?

The chingmi-tammi issue is an endless discussion. Have we ever noticed how many years we have brooded over this topic? How many opinions have we wasted? But the outcome has always been abysmal. With due regard to all the greedy (feudal and power-thirsty) people, I have a question for them. Why don’t you just stop molesting and raping the territorial integrity of the state? Just get a life. Enough is enough.

We just cannot add an unwanted communal colour to the chingmi-tammi issue. A criminal or a miscreant has no caste, creed or community. As for the recent molestation case, we must be aware of many Livingstones around us. We have to take up proper measures to make sure his tribe does not increase.

If we are ready for a revolution, let us revolutionize our mentality first. Let us gather not for the mob justice, but to discuss ideas that would offer a solution to our problems. No one can threaten our territorial integrity as long as we are together. United we stand, divided we fall. It is as simple as that.

Let us try to integrate what has been disintegrated over the years. Cowards find many reasons to spread hatred and turmoil everywhere. Brave people have their own conviction. Come what may, they stick to it. It is your choice whether you want to be addressed as a coward or a brave heart. Let us be ashamed of our moronic attitude, let us stop preparing ourselves for a civil war. Let us harmonize, let us spread the message of love and peace everywhere.

Are you with me as a Manipuri—not as a Chingmi, Tammi or Paangal—to reconstruct a Manipur where we can collectively work together for a social, political and economic growth? We know the state is in a rotten condition. Let us not get used to the stinks. Let us lend our hands to declutter the mess.

We do not have 24 hours power supply in our state, we do not have enough drinking water, we do not have good roads. Every sector in our state needs introspection. We must find out the problems, discuss the probable solutions and accordingly plan, discuss and act. Let us stop dyeing our minds with unwanted communal colours. Let us bid a formal adieu to 2012. Let us celebrate a new year, free of hatred and bitterness. Join me in the pursuit of peace. We badly need it.

This article was published on 6 Jan 2013

The Times of Manipur

Alright NASA has predicted a total blackout on 22nd, 23rd and 24th of this month. My concern, however, is whether we need to bother if the world is coming to an end this year or not?

If we look into the list of issues and incidents that continuously bog down our state, we need not be scared of the world coming to a dead end. And the reason or rather the ugly truth that authenticates this view is a simple logic.

In our state we are so far used to celebrating (yes, celebrating) many blackout days. A fragmented society that ours is, it has become a serious habit for us to lead our lives lamenting and celebrating at the same time. For an idea we can find the truth in the list — bomb blasts, blockades, bandhs, fairs and festivals, all round the year, all of them in a complete package that we made of.

We yawn every time we hear something about corruption or kaang khong chaiba state of affairs. It is nothing surprising for us to come across news related to corruption or a chaotic political situation day in and day out. Corruption for our state machinery is more of its spinal cord. Those who have the nerves to attach themselves to it get benefited. Otherwise, no further comments.

Well, it’s not a different fact that ours is already an infected system. And we are in lack of a good socio-medical support team or political-environmentalists to cleanse the system. It is therefore just sheer stupidity to even bother about cleansing the system.

I would like to compare the situation with that of a heavy chain smoker. The chain smoker knows that continuous smoking can harm his lungs and yet he cannot simply give up smoking. It becomes rather habitual getting used to smoking every day. Likewise, those who are part of the system know they are not doing the right thing but they cannot simply help. They get so used to corruption, they get used to the filth and dirt that have been polluting the machinery for all these decades.

It’s true that most of them once dared to talk so daring and bold about the issues that affect our lives. Some of them even did it at the cost of getting unasked brickbats. But once they become a part of the system, they mind their own corrupted business —‘esha esha soidraga loire’ — what else can we expect for?

As a matter of fact, I would not be less amused if I ever come across a high-ranked official admitting, ‘Paisa chaajagay nabu sarkaargi thabak touribani’. And trust me, I would not even blame him or her because one follows the norms that are meant not to be followed. And those who know not how to follow the norms get fooled and are tagged as losers or an abnormal individual.

For the thou-leitaba lots who want to introspect the current times of Manipur, many ugly truths are found smartly concealed here and there. It is like ‘Yenakhada amot akai peisinba’ while the shumang shines and glitters during a particular occasion at one’s home. We know how filthy the home is when we have a look at the yenakha, otherwise, we see what we believe from the surface; or should I say shumang again?

We do not want to cleanse or get clean up; we are only good at blame games. We keep on polluting every place and space because that’s what we are good at. I would love to address the role of ‘Ema Manipur’ as that of ‘Chaayaam pokpi mamagi dassa’ — of her inability to waarak watemba her children.  It’s funny to admit but yes if we cannot admit or identify our fault, we must find someone to blame. In that case, we can blame (the never existing) ‘Athouba, athoubi, mapaari, mamom kaya pokpi Ema Manipur for everything. Sounds politically correct as well, right?

Well, if the world does not end this year and if we live long enough to see our grandchildren in the future, we must be really ashamed to tell tales about the current times of Manipur.

We have grown up listening to our favourite funga waari and many historically nostalgic stories of their times from our Buboks and Edhous. Most of the stories we had heard as kids have had their own morals.

I feel seriously sorry for our grand children from the future for whom we have hardly any good, encouraging stories to narrate. Perhaps we can weave a few (not so interesting) stories from the bandhs, blockaes, bomb blasts, never ending list of festivals and melas and so on from the present times of Manipur. Do we even have an option?

This article was published on 16 Dec 2012

Goodbye Nostalgia!

My Mom asked me, ‘How long are you going to stay out of home?’ She did when I recently shared my plan for leaving Imphal. I did not have any reply to her question. I gave her this and that reason, with a feeling of guilt in my heart to leave home again. I knew not why I had to leave behind the most loved and cherished place on earth. My reason was something beyond earning a mere livelihood or searching for a better career option. Maybe I badly wanted to run away like a bride whose marriage had been fixed to the wrong guy. It might sound a little filmy but I have reasons of my own. Though it is right that I love everything about Manipur that includes my family, friends, various places and faces; it is equally true that there are many things that irk me every now and then when it comes to our home state.

At times, I do seriously wonder if I have started considering myself a tourist in my own home. Perhaps I share this feeling with many who have stayed out of home for more than a decade. I used to have this notion on my mind for all these years that home is really where the heart is. I had infected myself with an incurable nostalgia for all these years. And this time I thought I should stay back at home among my people. It took me only two months to prove that my decision was wrong and utterly illogical in a way. I must not forget to affirm that as far as Manipur is concerned ‘Home is not where the heart is but the hatred is’. And what is scary to imagine is that this hatred can take any shape or contour in the course of time. I know not what is really wrong with us but in the quest of power or easy money, most of us have become soft-feathered beasts.

We are uncomfortably numb and also dumb about certain issues that tickle our attention almost every day. We feel insecure seeing security personnel around us, when they are the ones in whose presence we are supposed to feel safe and protected. We are scared of a bomb blast that would occur anytime, anywhere across the town and elsewhere. I collectively consider it as a result of hatred. We abhor one another as if we are obliged to do so.

We do not mind wasting all the time, standing in long queues at petrol pumps — it happened even at the rumours of an impending economic blockade. A fools’ paradise that we are in, we have to endure ‘taaheidraba uheidraba’ words and incidents on a daily basis. Sometimes our nerves are more chilled than those waakchingi ullen, as a result of the never-ending brouhaha that takes many shapes every now and then.

Every cloud has its silver lining but when it comes to the deep-rooted issues of our state, we can see only the approaching storm. Those who are starved for power and easy money do not have any shame crossing any limit to appease their wants. From a mere thikadaar to a high-ranked state official, it’s difficult to figure out who is more dishonest and in what terms? Corruption has become a favourite naachom for most of the public sector employees, irrespective of gender or rank. It’s a perfect disorder that we are so used to and we do not mind it at all.

Most of us talk big about wind of change but it’s not surprising to find out that it’s the wind of hatred that is churning across the state. Thanks to this new-found wisdom, I am supposedly cured of nostalgia. But this does not mean I am going to stop missing my most favourite place under the sun. It’s just that nostalgia turns out to be a bad disease indeed but for my new found understanding, I must be thankful to it. I must also admit that I would reconsider taking a hard core decision of settling in Manipur in the near future. All in all, Goodbye Nostalgia!



This article was published on 9 Dec 2012

If I Become the First Ever Lady Cheap Ministress of Manipur!

Politics is not my usual cup of tea. I hate everything about politics. However, if I ever have to avail myself to become the first ever lady cheap ministress of Manipur, I have a long list of political/social wishes, which if come true, would make me one of the most (un)happiest persons on earth. I know not how the leingaak-pathap holders draw the margin of state politics in Manipur. Well, never mind, let me come to the point and acknowledge you all on the strategies I have framed to work out and are planning to implement once I become the first ever Cheap Ministress of Manipur.

Good citizens disobey bad laws. Therefore, during my tenure I will encourage all the citizens of Manipur to disobey those bad laws that were forcibly passed in my state. My first concern would focus on AFSPA. This inhumane draconian law has to become dinosaurs, an extinct piece of species, during my tenure as a cheap ministress. If required, I will adopt all the cheapest strategies to pester central government to remove this law as soon as possible.

My second emphasis would be on the development of infrastructure. In order to implement this plan, I will have a look at the long list of corrupted officials in each and every department and suspend them on grounds of ‘sen-haalengdana chaaba and ekai khangdaba’. Trust me; from the top-ranked officials to the peons, they have crossed the shameless limit of asking bribe from anyone. They are impediments in any type of developmental process in our society. They will however be given a chance of improvement during their temporary suspension and if there is no sign of improvement, they will be terminated from their service. Redemption centres will be especially opened for them where they can spend the rest of their lives trying to lead like normal beings and also a bribe-free life.

My next focus would be on education sector. I will make sure all the surrogate-teachers are rewarded with their deserving posts thereby terminating the service of those who officially hold the posts but never attend the schools and colleges. On grounds of humanity, the teachers who have been terminated from their posts would however be financially assisted by the same amount they earlier used to pay to surrogate teachers.

As the first ever cheap ministress of Manipur, I will voice the grievance of our people to central government in proper Hindi or English or Meiteilon language (by seeking the help of a guide). I earnestly feel that improper communication is quite a problem faced by most of the earlier cheap ministers in our state. They had tried their best to speak up on behalf of our people. But due to their own shortcomings in communication, they had continuously failed to do so. Or maybe, their ceaseless request and begging for funds have made them too dumb to speak to New Delhi.

In terms of projects allocated from the Centre, I will make sure that every single project is delivered to the right department in a free and fair manner and sans any 10% mindset. Earlier, the projects from the Centre reached the concerned departments but were completed on haabi-jaabi grounds. I will hire a special team of intelligence who will probe into all the official matters of each and every department.

I have many more plans on my mind but I do not want to publish them all. The earlier ministers had talked so much on the growth and development and done nothing. I believe in the credo ‘action speaks louder than words’. So I better stop hammering my keyboard and rather focus on my strategies.

All the above jokes apart, let us admit that an aggravating famine has been affecting everyone’s life in Manipur for all these years. This famine is the most unnatural famine we have ever come across. It is ghastly, it is deadly and it can gradually ruin everything/everyone. Intellectuals and mindless politicians are treated at par during this ongoing famine. Though the major victims are mostly laymen like me, like you or like everyone who is lurking or looking forward to see a better Manipur (maybe on a 32nd December, eh!). Our great political leaders have given their (un)valuable opinions and (im) possible means and measures to fight this famine. And hopelessly by the end of this century or maybe next century (if there is time restraint this century), this famine shall be controlled and everything will (not) be back to normalcy. But there is my (dis)honest question: ‘Can theoretical means fight practical problems?’

This famine could be anything — a famine broken out of lack of understanding, barbarism, misused law or power or unethical socio-political norms etc. etc. etc. Consider any factor, give any name, but trust me this famine has but affected everyone’s life quite severely. We cannot be mute spectators continuously affecting ourselves with this famine. We must have a solution, we must have a means, and we must have good comrades who can help us fight this famine. The pursuit has to begin soon. Count me in for the search and let me count you all too.

PS: I don’t want to become the first ever lady cheap or chief ministress of Manipur. I just want to be a free citizen who resides in Kangleipaak without any fear of insurgency and other social, financial or political chaos.

This article was published on 5 Aug 2012

The Creed of Love Sans Rubbish Religions

Would I be called an atheist when I get rid of a ‘Chanu’ or a ‘Devi’, being suffixed with my name? These suffixes purportedly identify my faith. Though I tend to avoid using any of these not-so-fascinating suffixation, sometimes I wonder if God is being politically incorrect in differentiating us on the grounds of religion. Why is religion given so much hype in our world? Why are the religious bigots continuously feeding on fanaticism? Can religion seriously contribute something in the shaping of an ideal society?

These questions keep disturbing me and unsurprisingly I have no answer. Perhaps I am just a confused person, lost in the religious complexities and all those moralities and mortality thingies.

Well, let me share a few personal experiences from my life on the religious clashes among individuals in our society. I grew up in a typical Hindu family. I enjoyed one such childhood period, listening to the words of wisdom from the Holy Geeta narrated by the late Karam Edhou. I enjoyed listening to his thoughts and the preaching on Hinduism and did enjoy most of the mera-mesh meal fondly shared with Edhou. Those memories are precious to me. I have grown up with many such good memories of those lessons on life that I have been taught by other edhou, bubok and many elderly persons who had left for their heavenly abode now. This was my father’s side.

My Ema, on the other hand, hails from a typical Meitei Marup family. My Keisampat Abok (my granny) had this tiny ‘khubam’ right at the courtyard. Around those days, she also introduced us the ‘heepu yaipubi’. On query, she replied Heepu Yaipubi is the Meitei version of Goddess Lakhsmi. The realisation amused me and I started developing a notion that God, no matter which one we worship, is known by a lot of names.

Since then, I had been fond of Sanamahism as much as I had been worshipping Hinduism or Christianity. Nonetheless, I have keenly observed the religious conflicts between my Wangkhei bubok and Keisampat abok during those days. It seemed to me as though they were born to dislike each other just because they followed different faith. They hardly came into terms with each other. Our two buboks would not show it openly but all of us know in their silence what was really going on between them.

As I grow up and see, hear and learn the truth, I have started disliking Hinduism and have almost denounced my faith, especially after knowing about how it was imposed in our society in the most forcible and barbaric manner. This fact has been etched on my mind. It’s like robbing and ruining all the good memories of childhood and I am equally helpless. I have started questioning my then beliefs on the various philosophies of Hinduism. But tell you what? I am not doing the right thing.

What had to happen had already happened, however hopefully, what can happen in the future is now entirely up to us. An enlightenment that leads to constructive thoughts is worth accepting but not the one that tinctures hatred on our mind for reasons that are best kept in the dark. We should have an open choice to follow our preferred faith or belief. Secularism should be promoted for an egalitarian society, but religion should not be misused as a lousy political tool. The more we misuse it, the more chaos we are prone to create in the society. Let us limit the use of religion. And the best thing is to keep in the closet of our private space.

Follow any religion you want to follow, who cares? Even if you want to worship Satan, it’s your choice. But make sure that you respect others who follow their choice of religion. Hatred cannot be a solution to rectify the blunder from the past. No religious book teaches us to spread loathsome philosophies. You are as much a Meitei whether you worship Pakhangba or Krishna. You are as much a Manipuri whether you follow Christianity or Islam. Let us stop building all these narrow domestic walls. Though the question of losing one’s identity after following a foreign faith can be kept aside for deliberations some other time.

I did not have any particular reason of denouncing my faith. I just have this feeling that religion cripples our view and make us petty. For example, if you introduce yourself as a Hindu, you are just a Hindu. It seems like building a narrow domestic wall when you differentiate yourself from others as a Hindu. So, I find it a much better option to denounce any faith. Instead of worshiping idols or chanting hymns, it’s better to hum songs of love for mankind. Let us believe in spreading happiness. Let us believe in making this world a better place to reside. Let us believe in peace not war. Let us abolish hatred. We need to manifest and infect one another with stirring ideas of social and political change. Manipur is laid back in civilization in almost all the sectors. Let us focus more on how we can chip in with our ideas of civilization.

It is not a death-dream to see a prosperous Manipur, if we all become united as Manipuris, and not as Meitei, Paangal or Hao. Let us join the global march in this progression of civilization. Let us not waste our time quarrelling or philandering on trivial issues. Always be a Manipuri first... we can be a hao, a meitei or a paangan later. Theism or atheism, today what we need in our world is love.

This article was published on 15 July 2012

On Cynical Mindset, Illogical Nationalsim and Moronic System

As far as writing is concerned, there is very little hope that many of us would expect to find a solution out of our generation’s trouble with the society. A few good friends have even suggested that it is not worth writing on the issues of our state and its ‘pumchai-chairaba’ norms. They opine: Manipur will always be Manipur. Well, I have other things on my mind. Apparently, I find it a better option to write and express – and continue the deliberations — rather than resorting to unhinge my sanity with nothing but losing myself in ailing thoughts of utter chaos all around.

I do not intend to offend the inflated ego of my own brethren through this column. It’s just a small attempt to acknowledge a few facts and our own faults so that we can sort out what is going wrong and how we can mend the ways. Kindly digest with a pinch of salt and others who do not have gall bladders (like me) can opt for an enzyme syrup.

There is an endless list of things I hate about our state. We can admit the fact that ours is a land of chaos, corruption and disorders where absurd political melodramas have become a daily show, still we would indulge in it despite the angst. We know something is not right but we are either too shy or scared to point out the faults. A disturbed psyche is fine for us, who cares about it anyway?

I cannot help but perspire on our mindset. ‘Touja saarise yenguney’ – is one of our nauseating cynical attitudes. Take for example, when some of us start something innovative or even discuss about it, ‘Oisu oiroidabada thok mok keikaanaba’ – is one hell of a discouraging comment, even from our own families, sageei naatei and keirol leikai. How can an idea be nurtured if it is aborted right at its conceiving stage? I know not the ‘how’ but I am aware of the ‘why’. Cynicism has possessed us like an evil spirit. I think a ‘Khaiyom Laakpa’ is not a bad idea to cure ourselves, eh?

Believe it or not, we are so much used to live with a disturbed psychology. Bombs don’t frighten us anymore though we would sigh, hearing about them. By the mention of bombs, let me recall one particular news published last Thursday. ‘BOMB ATTACKS’ was the headline of the story. The bomb was hurled at the Shija Hospital and Research Institute. Luckily, it failed to explode after hitting the hospital’s wall. My question is what if it had burst? What if the civilians or the patients in the hospital were hurt or killed? Alright, a few JACs would be formed; a few more protest rallies or sit-in protests, a few memorandums, then bandhs and strikes would follow – all in all in the same old norms. There is nothing new about the same old news in our state. How pathetically true ?

Where do we stand when the bombs are hurled at us by our own brethren? Where is the question of unity when disintegration and hatred is the order of the day?

On one hand, the so called ‘Imagi Mapaaris’ relentlessly talk on nationalism trying to tincture a sense of patriotism in our minds. They talk about construction while resorting to destructive measures. They dream to see a bright Manipur but their strategies are so dark. Sometimes, I wonder, what kind of nationalism are they really talking about? Abduction, extortion, hurling bombs and killing innocents – these are not the means to fight for a cause as far as my belief is concerned. We have a very little idea with whom they are waging the war at. I doubt if they know it themselves.

The politicians, always hungry for power and money, on the other hand never leave the stone unturned to satiate their thirst for supreme control over means and measures of power/money supply from the centre. They have made it a habit to lend deaf ears to our grievances. Behind closed rooms, they discuss on the strategies to rule and not to govern the state. Needless to say, governance is not a contract work. I have an honest suggestion for them. If they think they are not worth their posts, they should give the chance to the deserving lots (but it’s again an eternally perplexing question: Who are the deserving political leaders in our state?) Que sera sera, ‘Yongna yubi konlaga kappaga leibagi feebhamdu khitang tokpadi fabra khanli’.

A cynical mindset, the illogical nationalism and a moronic system are some of the root causes that have contributed in the deconstruction of a fair and liveable society. Dear sensible citizens, we need to give up our cynicism; we need to say no to illogical nationalism; and we should stop enduring the moronic system too. Let us come up with ideas and a hell lot of them. We must fight against all these unwanted issues that have contributed to the unmaking of an ideal society. Let’s keep the deliberations open.

This article was published on 8 July 2012

Where Have All the Coins Gone?

Achoiba leitey lupa ahumdu meethai haapaklagey — at every dukan and grocery shop at every leirak and leikai, this is inevitably the only reply we get from the shopkeepers because they don’t have the change. When was the last time you got the change from a shop? Have you ever complained when the shopkeeper returned you a fistful of toffees, as if the few rupees are nothing but insignificant? Most of the time we would take the toffees grudgingly, if not, the only thing we can do is to ask for match boxes instead of the toffees.

We know the obvious response from the neighbourhood dukan-fumbers: there is a shortage of coins in the market so they are helpless and are resorting to unasked Chrolomints and Sunflower match boxes. But there are more reasons than meet the eye.

Last year when a couple of shopkeepers’ associations in Mumbai complained to the Reserve Bank of India (RBI), which earlier used to dispense the coins directly but has given the responsibility to the bank branches now, the latter refuted and screamed that hoarding and black market are to be blamed for. Officially in India, the coins are distributed through RBI offices (in the Northeast, these are located in Guwahati and Agartala), bank branches and currency chests.

Closer home, there is another perspective. On conditions of anonymity, an official at the State Bank of India (SBI) gave me some plausible explanations. He said, ‘There was a coin dispenser installed at the SBI Imphal branch a few years back. But the unscrupulous agents would empty the container, leaving literally, no change for the unsuspecting public.’ That constituted a paltry portion of the black-market economy in Manipur.

Then there is also the high cost of transport, which results in a limited supply of coins. The anonymous SBI official added, ‘Coins are usually transported through flights. The present shortfall cannot be adjusted with more supply as frequent remittance is not possible. Besides, the coins are heavier and are relatively of lesser value than paper notes of higher denominations. So generally,the banks opt for bigger paper notes for transaction, ATMs and other dealings.’

Throughout India there is rampant hoarding and black marketing of coins as countered by the RBI officials to the shopkeepers’ association in Mumbai. For example, a hundred of one rupee is usually sold at a premium of Rs 10, but it can go up to Rs 20 in the fluctuating black market. The rate might be different in Manipur and it is open to question how the coins have vanished into thin air.

An examination of the scarcity of coins in various parts of the country might offer a bigger picture. Earlier this year, the RBI had decided to back out from retail operations and hence halted their distribution of coins from its offices. But there are allegations of procedural inexperience of the present distributors, which has further resulted in the rising price of coin and an uneven demand-supply ratio. Inadvertently this is affecting the economy very badly.

Let’s do a simple math. Suppose in Manipur, a one person loses Rs 3 a day while shopping; then the state loses Rs 81,65,268 daily, if we take into account the present population of 27,21,756 as per the 2011 census. Needless to say, some economists measure the shortage of coins is adding to 3% to 5% inflation in the national economy.

It will take a deeper analysis of the problems but there are several allegations on why the scarcity is happening at the first place, and these are not without reasons. The first of them is the rising price of metals. The RBI, for instance, has reduced the new 50-paise coins to the size of the 25-paise coins. The 25-paise coins are no more in circulation. This explains loosely the possible reduction of the number of coins being manufactured each year.

In an interesting way, there is also an allegation that coins, to the tune of crores of rupees, are in the strongboxes of temples across the country. Needless to say, all of these reasons are providing the banks to earn unethically as most of them simply round off the change.

When the whole country is reeling under the deficiency, it is no wonder our state is also pushed into the corner. But hopefully, consumer awareness could be one of the probable solutions to it.

Perhaps we could also approach the concerned banks with our queries; perhaps the financial professionals can voice on behalf of us.

A wake up call is quite a must and it should start pretty soon. Where have all the coins gone? We should have a solution right?

This article was published on 24 June 2012

The Yaoshang Diary 2012

By the dusk of Lamtagi purnima, kids at every Leikai of Manipur, especially in the valley, eagerly wait for the Yaoshang hut to be burnt down. For no other reason but that instantly they can start visiting each and every house in their Leikai for nakadeng. The festive spirit of Yaoshang kick starts right on the purnima day of Lamta and the fest extends over five days.

A festival of colours, a perfect time to reunite with friends, families and relatives to indulge only in merrymaking, Yaoshang is one such festival that is celebrated with great pomp and show in our state. A much anticipated vacation for me, I enjoyed one of the best Yaoshang celebrations at my hometown with friends, family and relatives in high spirit. The norm of celebrating Yaoshang hasn’t changed much in all these years and it has gladdened my heart for many a reason.

The nakadeng culture, going on unabated, ensures the spirit of Yaoshang is alive and kicking. Children have been enjoying full-fledged liberty to ask money from anyone they come across at the street, anyone at the leikai lampak or anyone at the locality. This is a tradition that has been kept alive for all these years. I was quite elated to see so many kids loitering in the streets dressed in colourful joipur and fanek with sengaos in their hands (especially the girls).

Another top menu of Yaoshang especially among elders is a sumptuous feast. The very time of the year when one gets a continuous five days break from work, the laid-back feeling is too blatant. The festival is also one great excuse for an annual reunion and catching up with friends. And how delightful these treats are—when these are added with a delectable meal and a hard day’s laugh over funny narration of our lives, backwards and forward.

A cheerful festival, it is indeed fun to be with long lost friends and it is a great way to socialise during Yaoshang, forget Facebook. The best part is that one doesn’t need to bother about any hectic professional chore. One can simply relax, chill out and have as much fun without bothering a bit about a team meeting or worrying about any deadline.

From relishing singju, bora and keli chana with friends to enjoying late-night movies that are screened at the leikai lampak and from loitering all across Imphal, wearing colourful moirang feejin chanba fanek to watching the interesting Yaoshang events, we are spoilt for choice during this festival.

Yaoshang is a festival for all and sundry. So it has something to offer for everyone irrespective of ages or genders. In some localities, we can see men in their 70s actively taking part in football matches while in some others, it is fun to watch kids, grouped age-wise under 13, under 12 and under 10 enthusiastically taking part in a football match with a team from other leikai. Their excitement is commendable. Soccer fans would better understand what I am trying to imply here.

Borakhao lamjel, spoon and marble race, blind hit, pafor chabi, chaak thonglaga chaaba haanbi taanabi, King/ Queen Desire, Fashion show, cassette dance, fancy dress competition etc. are some fun filled sports and events especially held by the local clubs during the festival.

For kids, it is needless to mention that their happiness knows no bound during this very festival as they are licensed to be notorious for five days. They play with colours, run after one another with pichkaris in their hands and have as much fun that they can afford.

From age-olds to kids, everyone seems free spirited during this festival. People take a leisurely break and indulge only in those events that make them happy. Young and old, men and women took an ideal break and come together to indulge in various Yaoshang centric events held at their respective leikai lampak.

The festival also marks the annual come back of some eateries. Eateries such as gulla macha, pafor, boiled eggs etc. have been particularised as the very achapot for Yaoshang. With due regard to those cabbage farmers in Manipur, I must not forget to mention kobi saag which is a special dish cooked in every Manipuri home during Yaoshang. I still cannot define the connection between Yaoshang and kobi saag. Every Yaoshang, every Manipuri home finds it a norm to cook kobi saag. Maybe it is the seasonal availability of the vegetable and that is how it is closely associated and in fact considered a small piece of Yaoshang celebration. Hawai mubi (ariba), Yongchaak overcoat litpa, hayai, chorfon, heirit etc. are some more vegetables and fruits that are in during this festival.

If it is all about enjoying a fabulous time with friends over a plate of bora or kaanghou, Yaoshang is one such jovial festival during which one can have a good time. Yaoshang festival 2012 bid adieu with colourful memories imprinted in our hearts. We should have more of this festival. Till next Yaoshang, let us cherish the vivid memories of this fiesta.

This article was published on 18 March 2012

The 26th Column — Age No Bar

It struck my mind on a late January evening while lazily sipping a cup of tejpata flavoured chaangang at the balcony of my sojourn here in the capital city of India. As usual, I was pretty confused about a decent topic to write on for next week. I gave a second thought about the first thought and decided it should be something I must write on no matter what, why or how. So, here I am with the 26th Column.

This time I have nothing to talk about our Cheap Minister. I do not have any grudge against the Maiba who sold away Manipur to Hawaimaan. I would not bother to talk anymore on any social networking site and its popularity. I don’t even have to talk much on elections or on any other social or political fundas. Let all these topics be cast aside. I have something else to share this time. Something not surreal or fictional but what we often call the reality bytes, especially from the perspective of a girl/lady.

On a self-introductory note, let me simply introduce myself as a regular girl (read lady) with not so expensive dreams. My dreams are pretty affordable and anyone would find them very mundane. When it comes to the real me I must be honest enough to say that (sans the age factor) I love to flaunt as a kid in the heart.

Like my friends, I still hate to admit my real age. The very thought of turning thirty scares me to hell. I am still on the safer side of thirty but it doesn’t mean I am never going to turn thirty. No matter how much I hide my age, no matter how much carefree or damn care I get along with my friends, the reality byte is that I am old enough to be childish and mature enough to be dyed-in-the-wool to my obligations and of course consider of marriage as one of the social norms to be followed (did I really type all these?)

Though I haven’t yet tried Olay cream or thought about a facial beautification therapy either, I know it would not be far when I really have to start worrying about aging and its various syndromes. Most of us are used to consoling one another with encouraging filmy quotes or remarks such as ‘Sweet sixteen forever’, ‘Young at heart’ ‘We live in deeds not in ages’ etc. At the end of the day, however, the mirror never lies. Should I call it the first reality byte?

For the second realty byte, there is no surprise factor. It is about the wedding phobia that most of us have. Many jokes have been cracked on it, many hilarious opinions have been shared, many remarks have also been heard but the phobia is pretty infectious among those who are not yet ready to tie the knot.

Fairy tales have always encouraged us to believe in those whims and fancies. We (girls) have always loved dreaming about our own ‘Knight (s) in shining armour’ who would one day come to rescue us from the dungeon of solitude and all those stupid exaggerated anticipations. Well, it’s sheer stupidity to really expect a filmy or fairy tale like sequence in our lives. Films are to entertain us and fairy tales are sweet when they are told to kids (I wish I could attach a smiley here).

The reality has always a different facet and we get hooked to it knowingly or unknowingly.

It is pretty obvious that many of us have an emotional hangover of the past, many of us get stuck at a snail snarling traffic jam of life clueless of which way to head and many of us are busy working on tight professional schedules. The only seasoned habit which is common among each one of us is whining on petty issues. But in the middle of all this brouhaha, we are gradually aging, our youthfulness is slowly dwindling away and the gusto is also becoming feeble. Perhaps this is the norm of life, perhaps this is how things go on.

Well, we cannot deny the truth any more than we have been denying it already. In some good years, everyone’s life would be changed. Many of us would willingly or unwillingly tie the knots. Many of us would finally consider of making the next move. Many of us would win a lot of laurels in our careers. Change will be one common thread that will tie us all in the next few years.

I am not going to tell anything new when I would talk about how it is significant to value time, value relations, value the moments from all the three tenses. But even if it sounds stale, let me conclude my 26th column assuring you all that the past was as beautiful as the present and the future is going to be more beautiful. Let us shoo the ghosts away and be more real and enjoy life to the fullest living it queen size. After all tomorrow is not just another day.

This article was published on 29 Jan 2011

The Incorrigibly Inscrutable Race Called Manipuris

For many reasons, I sometimes prefer staying in Delhi than in Manipur. Life here in Delhi, as compared to the drudgery and ennui in Manipur, is freaky cool. Yes, it’s tedious to work the whole week anywhere. The buzzing alarm, the laziness to wake up, the rush to reach office on time, the eagerness to reach home no sooner than office ends etc—all these mark the daily routines for most of the professionals in the city. The difference is that we don’t need to bother about economic blockades or dramatic rise in the price of various commodities, though this is not the case in Manipur.

It is true that nostalgia is a chronic disease that each one of us is equally infected with. We miss our homes, our people. We love talking about good old childhood days, those local games, those fun-filled school days, festivals and what not. The smell of u-morok that triggers our appetite simultaneously makes us miss home badly. And if we are lucky enough to relish dishes like chagempomba or tharoi thongba, we fondly tell one another ‘Yumgi insaang yam maandra?’ This is the norm; this is the contagious homesickness that all of us mutually share. And that’s all that we got to amiably talk about Manipur.

The rest as we all know is history in the making in which we are directly and indirectly involved. 100 plus days of economic blockade, woes of people on price rise, the communal malice, the shattered emotions of this and that community—these issues are more than enough to make us all pissed off during our weekend together. We would debate with one another, give our personal opinions, sometimes indulge in quarrels to prove our opinions more noteworthy… but at the end of each and every Manipur-centric discussion, we find ourselves a little annoyed or disturbed. Debates could take the shape of anything. What bothers us most is who is going to preside on our debates? Who is going to listen to our grievances? Who is going to be accountable for what is happening in the State?

The best solution sometimes seems avoiding the discussions on Manipur with a pledge not to start it ever again. But that is next to impossible. We know we will keep talking about Manipur. We will keep quarrelling on issues that affect our people, though it is a different cup of tea whether our people know consciously if they are affected or not?

To a lot of Manipuris who are home based, it would not make an iota of sense staying miles away from the State and talking or discussing on issues that are faced by them back home. Well, the reason that we don’t stay in Manipur doesn’t mean we are less concerned. I doubt if maximum numbers of the Manipuris in Manipur are indeed bothered about the issues at all? If yes, then how? They do not protest, they do not raise their voices on the price rise. Come what may, they are ready to celebrate any festival with great pomp and show. If cooking gas is sold at Rs 2,000, they have alternative means of cooking meals. Instead of protesting or resorting to collectively act or react, they enjoy sober meals and stay quietly within their homes watching ISTV news or watching movies (if it is not a load shedding day). If there is any probable bandh, they get damn excited because another ‘chaak chanaba’ is on its way. Who cares about the economic blockade when one can afford a sumptuous nganu-thongba and yeah some booze (local or imported ones). The day will pass on merrily with some friends and that is more important. Let the problems burgeon day by day who gives a damn? Let an invisible virtual crusader descend on earth from ‘atiya’ and fight on their behalf. Meanwhile, enjoy the boozes, enjoy the delicacies!

All of us are either too cynical or indifferent and there lies one of the starting points of all the problems. It is DISGUSTING to know that political consciousness is a pale joke among the maximum population. I am sorry to say so but our people seem to be pretty OK with what is happening in the State. I do feel that we the outsourced lots are unnecessarily worried and concerned about the situations back there. No one complains, no one cares and everyone supports the situations instead of figuring out doable means and probable measures to solve it together.

Manipur is a living hell, Manipur is a failed State, Manipur is this, and Manipur is that. Everyone loves pointing fingers; no one is ready to lend a helping hand to resolve the problems. It is like ‘People, people everywhere, not anyone to act’. How long will this happen? How long will it take for our people to wake up from the slumber? “FRANKLY, My Dear, we don’t know because we don’t give a damn” would be a probable answer from our fellow Manipuris, the incorrigibly inscrutable race. Oh! Poor Change, it seems it will take years for you to make your presence in the State. Why don’t you plan a world tour first? Manipur will keep waiting for you till forever comes. Ciao!

PS - I do not have any slightest intention to hurt the sentiment of my people. It’s just that I want them to be a little sensible before it’s too late. I also don’t put myself in the shoes of any Vendetta who is trying to reform the society. I am in fact no one to talk about change or reformation. I am just a mere individual struggling for survival and sustenance in a metropolitan city. But trust me; I would love to be proved wrong on my above views.

This article was published on 13 Nov 2011