Chaobinism: Defying Chauvinism

In our society most of the rules are formed, deformed and again reformed by the male lots. It’s always a Thoiba, Tomba or Chaoba’s world. For a Thoibi, Tombi or Chaobi, it’s a different tale to tell. In quite a devilling Hindu style, the bigger gender says, ‘Nupigi punsidi paap mayaamna yomaga poklakpani’. I ghastly wonder how those religious pundits ever dare to come to such a conclusion. How dare they!

Man-tastic chauvinism is a social trend that’s been observed for all these decades in almost every society including ours. Hence, a Thoiba, Chaoba or Tomba is metaphorically considered as a mani matum for his parents whereas a Chaobi or Tombi is — for the want of an appropriate word — a leibaak leituum? I have always been emotionally offended by such a mindset ever since I was a kid. I am still emotionally offended by such a thaak-nemba mindset. On moral or immoral grounds, when a son makes a mistake it’s ngaosinaba but if a daughter does, it becomes a great concern not just for the family but also for the entire saagei-naatei and keiroi-leikai.

World Cup for the Men and Beyond

In various cases, daughters are expelled to have their share of fun. To cite a simple example, hanging out somewhere or watching football or any game late in the night with friends would be unimaginable, if not it is odd or disgraceful for a girl. However, the same is a matter of ‘nupa thokpa’, a time for great celebration for the male lots.

I have in fact grown up in one such leikai where guys in groups enjoy late night football or any match over pegs of local booze and nganu/yen/oak thongba for maarinaba. I do not intend to culture a similar habit. But I would encourage the idea of a few leikai friends or even cousins hanging out together for a football match. Why should boys/guys have all the fun? This has been a major concern for me; not that it’s a matter of animosity towards the male lots.

Well, this would hopefully be the last time I would ever get a chance to watch World Cup leisurely from the comfort of my home. I know not how my nupamayum would be like but am damn sure no family would entertain their ‘mamou nupi’ watching football late in the night and waking up late in the morning. So that’s it?
Marriage, at least to me, seems like an artificial sterilization of a relation that is forged and forced to maintain for the rest of your life with some special clauses for the bride such as: ‘Thou shall abandon all the pre-marital hobbies. Thou shall adhere to the rules of waking up earlier than the morning birds. Thou shall under any circumstance fulfil the duties abound with the awunpot of thy luhongba’.

Gawd! I am already getting sick of these things already. I wonder if I would be able to religiously follow them all. Or should I start thinking about empowering ‘Chaobinism’?

Of Chaobinism and the Wind of Change

Earlier, the norm was set like this: the son has to earn while the daughter has to run the home. But things have changed over the years. Daughters not only run but also earn for the family. I know many friends and acquaintances, who financially support their families and at the same time run all the household errands. The rising number of such women and daughters, in my opinion, is a clear sign of progress, rather than a reply to the inflated mindset of man-tastic chauvinism in our society.

I have also come across many brave and courageous ladies who have misspelled the myth that ‘Nupa dangna paangal thokpa thabak touba ngami’. Consider the rise of Mary Kom, for instance. History is also the sole witness when it comes to the thouna-lingjel of Manipuri ladies. It would not be an exaggeration to state that the hand that once rocked the cradle also cracks many a rock just to support her family. Of late, the rising number of working ladies in both public and private sectors is more or less an implication that we have finally come out of the cocoon to face the world and pave our own ways.

Yes, it’s a clear sign of positive change. It’s the gradual phase of ‘Chaobinism’ defying chauvinism that has been rooted on our mindset for all these years and decades. The dictionary would never have a right place for ‘Chaobinism’ but who cares? We are ready with the change though we know male chauvinism will prevail as always. We are going with the flow of the times that are changing. No matter what, it is as much a Thoibi or Chaobi’s world as much as it’s a Thoiba or Chaoba’s world.

This article was published on 15 June 2014.

Contemporary Manipuri Pakhangs — Chauvinistic yet Adorable!

He would sing a typical song to sweep you off your feet. He would try a seasoned trick to win your heart. He would at times make you feel stupid and worth nothing. He would compel you to stay in a cocoon, set a long list of rules and regulations a ‘do this, do that’ and many unendurable demands. However, despite all these you would still find him adorable. A magnetic force draws you towards him and you end up falling in love with him because he is irresistibly sensible.

Presenting none other than the Contemporary Manipuri Pakhang who is chauvinistic yet adorable in many ways!

You may often misjudge him for his arrogance which is a protective shield to ward any unwanted situation. Tell you what? Most of the guys prefer to be called ‘rude-dudes’. And the reason is pretty hilarious. It makes them feel like ‘real men’. It is their inimitable style to wear an attitude badge not to get rid of you from his life but to protect or check trespassers to their shielded existence. So, next time when you think your beau is one hell of a rude guy, try to discover the hidden love and affection in his rudeness. Bingo! The magic is sure going to work wonders. Trust yourself, if not me.

Stubborn, chauvinistic, laid-back, egoistic — these are some negative adjectives that do describe them. They love flaunting their dogmatic attitude as if that is the best achievement they have ever made. However, that is a short-lived attribute among them. They would inflate their own ego and deflate the same, beg on his knees and apologize (even for that mistake you made/make).

When it comes to songs or music, they are one of the eligible lots to participate even on a global platform. It’s indeed surprising that most of the Manipuri Guys play guitar and can sing any Manipuri, Hindi or English number. From ‘Do Dil Mil Rahe Hain’ to ‘Born to be Wild’, they learn the chords easily and yeah aptly too. Born with a good taste of music, our very own Manipuri Pakhangs are always advanced than other guys from elsewhere [sorry for being a little (read big) typical here].

Sometimes he would spoil you as if you are a princess from a fairy land. Sometimes he would become the child himself, seeking lots of attention as if you are his artificial mom. But it doesn’t mean he is immature. They do have this sickening habit of acting pricey. Emotionally taunting is one hell of an art they have mastered and also researched on. But great and good, did the great Winston Churchill remark, are seldom the same man.

Another trait about Manipuri Pakhangs which can be appreciated is their patriotic sense and their ardent love for the motherland. During casual get together or any social occasion, stories of bomb blasts and blockades bind them together. Though usually, most of the Manipuri guys don’t seem to gel well with one another, separated in their own world. Needless to cite the long list of examples from those weekend hang outs or catch-up with friends and quarrels over silly topics, there is something so common when it comes to issues that affect all of us. These norms are pretty popular and almost used to. But it doesn’t mean they don’t have any collective sense of responsibility towards the state. At the prospect of any impending social or political chaos in the state, they unite together and are poised to resort to any action, taking nationalism to a new high. Come what may, they are all for the state. They would sound damn care, irresponsible or insensible during other occasion but when it comes to any matter of the state, they don’t take any crap from anyone. This patriotism in them is indeed very endearing.

The songs that they sing the verses that they recite, the musical instruments that they play and not to forget the lucrative career opportunities they are exploring — I guess our Alpha Manipuri Pakhangs deserve more attention and admiration from us as well. And dear leishabis, next time you underestimate an eligible Manipuri Pakhang, please refer to what all things I have told about them because they are aptly true.

‘Masak Fajabana Mayamgi, Maram Mokpana Leikaini, Nungsibana Eigi’ — would you not love to flaunt your beau among your friends like this? Oh come on! I know you would sure love to right? By the way, we can add it is much to be a ‘hawaimaan’, though it is more to be a gentleman.

Well, my views and understanding of Manipuri Pakhangs exclude those who do not give themselves a chance to grow up. Sorry to say this but, they are the hopeless lots and probably the ones who shoo away fellow Manipuri girls. Pretty Leishabis, I hope none of you ever endures any of the obnoxious and unendurable breed of Pakhangs.

This article was published on Dec 18 2011