An Anti-Stereotypical Thought Singju!

We worship Goddess Panthoibi piously for two weeks in the month of Mera and for the rest of the year we are ready to consider our womenfolk are like the do-they-even-exist types. Manipur Masala presents an anti-stereotypical thought singju to unravel a few funny cases of stereotyping, which are intricately fabricated and juggled in our society for all these years.

Behind the masquerade of patriarchy, stereotyping is observed as quite an ethical norm in our society. To cite the simplest example, we generally observe that a guy who occasionally cooks or indulges in a bit of household chores for his family is categorised under the section of ‘maram mokpa’ or ‘gyaan taaba type’. He becomes an adorable person in the keiroleikai. If that guy happens to be a Pakhang, a list of leisabis would go ga-ga after him.

Alright, I do admire the type of maram-mokpa Pakhang or any nupa who lends a helping hand in the domestic chores of the family. But given a thought on it, it smells to me, a syndrome of hard-core stereotype.

In our society, the female lots in every family are occupied in a hell lot of household chores on a daily basis. There is hardly any admiration for a particular girl who runs her family catering to all the needs of the members of her family.

There is a sole consolation that a girl receives from her relatives or keiroleikai: ‘Echagi maram khumoksidi hayengwai mouga oiradi manem makuna yam paamdoipotni’. This insinuates how a girl is born to look after a family for her entire life—regardless of mapaam or nupa mayum.

A leisabi, before tying the nuptial knot, is expected to learn all the emungi kupnom besides mastering the art of cooking niche insaangs such as chagem pomba, ooti thongba, sareng thongba etc. Leisabihood days are synonymous to pre-marriage training time during which a girl has to attain perfection in every single household work. When it comes to work, the list is endless: wai teiba, chaak thongba, fee suba, emung loisinba (rolling my eyes) and what not.

Imagine the roles were reversed. Imagine a Pakhang doing all these household activities on a daily basis just to become eligible as an ideal Yumgi Nupa after his marriage. I would not mind hosting an event in pursuit of the most maram mokpa nupa of the year simultaneously showering him with gifts and blessings. There would even be benedictions such as ‘afaba nupi fangjaro’.

Well, the ground reality is not so fascinating. Our society has so many funny hocus-pocuses about culturing the norm of stereotyping. We have tinctured many stereotyped beliefs on our mind. All of us are accustomed to the beliefs of shumaang matonda fanek fouba touheide; except u-rok sumjeet, guys are forbidden to touch the broom and the most interesting one: nupana eru ludana chaak thongbadi yai, nupinadi yaade.

I do not have the slightest intention of waging a gender war. But I honestly believe it’s high time that we change our mindsets on sexuality. So, in my Utopian Sanaleibaak, guys should cook on a daily basis; they should equally look after their homes like their better halves; and they should not mind if there is a Fanek hanging at the Polaangkhok right at the Shumang maton. Rather, mind the mess that is synonymous to Manipur today.

Until and unless we change our mindset, there is hardly any use of yelling at the streets or hammering the keyboards to speak out against injustice or crime against women that are continuously committed in our society.

‘Attempting to get at truth,’ to quote the acclaimed English journalist, Harold Evans, ‘means rejecting stereotypes and clichés’.

Can we attempt to come upon the truth? At least, try...?

Come on, it won’t be anything like rocket science. Let’s just do it. Let’s say ‘Goodbye to stereotyping’ and say ‘Hello to a free society’ where all the Leisha-Pakhang are categorised as Maram Mokpi/Mokpa and the ahal-laman enjoy themselves as audiences of ideal romantic nuances.

The world’s truly a stage. And I bet it will be a hit with equal improvisations from the two sexes, rather than just one. In so doing, I bet again that we will find more essence in singing paeans for Panthoibi Lairembi. The rest will follow automatically.

This article was published on 13 Oct 2013

Contemporary Manipuri Pakhangs — Chauvinistic yet Adorable!

He would sing a typical song to sweep you off your feet. He would try a seasoned trick to win your heart. He would at times make you feel stupid and worth nothing. He would compel you to stay in a cocoon, set a long list of rules and regulations a ‘do this, do that’ and many unendurable demands. However, despite all these you would still find him adorable. A magnetic force draws you towards him and you end up falling in love with him because he is irresistibly sensible.

Presenting none other than the Contemporary Manipuri Pakhang who is chauvinistic yet adorable in many ways!

You may often misjudge him for his arrogance which is a protective shield to ward any unwanted situation. Tell you what? Most of the guys prefer to be called ‘rude-dudes’. And the reason is pretty hilarious. It makes them feel like ‘real men’. It is their inimitable style to wear an attitude badge not to get rid of you from his life but to protect or check trespassers to their shielded existence. So, next time when you think your beau is one hell of a rude guy, try to discover the hidden love and affection in his rudeness. Bingo! The magic is sure going to work wonders. Trust yourself, if not me.

Stubborn, chauvinistic, laid-back, egoistic — these are some negative adjectives that do describe them. They love flaunting their dogmatic attitude as if that is the best achievement they have ever made. However, that is a short-lived attribute among them. They would inflate their own ego and deflate the same, beg on his knees and apologize (even for that mistake you made/make).

When it comes to songs or music, they are one of the eligible lots to participate even on a global platform. It’s indeed surprising that most of the Manipuri Guys play guitar and can sing any Manipuri, Hindi or English number. From ‘Do Dil Mil Rahe Hain’ to ‘Born to be Wild’, they learn the chords easily and yeah aptly too. Born with a good taste of music, our very own Manipuri Pakhangs are always advanced than other guys from elsewhere [sorry for being a little (read big) typical here].

Sometimes he would spoil you as if you are a princess from a fairy land. Sometimes he would become the child himself, seeking lots of attention as if you are his artificial mom. But it doesn’t mean he is immature. They do have this sickening habit of acting pricey. Emotionally taunting is one hell of an art they have mastered and also researched on. But great and good, did the great Winston Churchill remark, are seldom the same man.

Another trait about Manipuri Pakhangs which can be appreciated is their patriotic sense and their ardent love for the motherland. During casual get together or any social occasion, stories of bomb blasts and blockades bind them together. Though usually, most of the Manipuri guys don’t seem to gel well with one another, separated in their own world. Needless to cite the long list of examples from those weekend hang outs or catch-up with friends and quarrels over silly topics, there is something so common when it comes to issues that affect all of us. These norms are pretty popular and almost used to. But it doesn’t mean they don’t have any collective sense of responsibility towards the state. At the prospect of any impending social or political chaos in the state, they unite together and are poised to resort to any action, taking nationalism to a new high. Come what may, they are all for the state. They would sound damn care, irresponsible or insensible during other occasion but when it comes to any matter of the state, they don’t take any crap from anyone. This patriotism in them is indeed very endearing.

The songs that they sing the verses that they recite, the musical instruments that they play and not to forget the lucrative career opportunities they are exploring — I guess our Alpha Manipuri Pakhangs deserve more attention and admiration from us as well. And dear leishabis, next time you underestimate an eligible Manipuri Pakhang, please refer to what all things I have told about them because they are aptly true.

‘Masak Fajabana Mayamgi, Maram Mokpana Leikaini, Nungsibana Eigi’ — would you not love to flaunt your beau among your friends like this? Oh come on! I know you would sure love to right? By the way, we can add it is much to be a ‘hawaimaan’, though it is more to be a gentleman.

Well, my views and understanding of Manipuri Pakhangs exclude those who do not give themselves a chance to grow up. Sorry to say this but, they are the hopeless lots and probably the ones who shoo away fellow Manipuri girls. Pretty Leishabis, I hope none of you ever endures any of the obnoxious and unendurable breed of Pakhangs.

This article was published on Dec 18 2011